According to Reese: Everything Annoys Me. That Doesn't Mean Everything Deserves My Energy.

I'm just going to say it.

Everything annoys me.

Seriously.

Everything.

It sucks to be this way, but I think it's in my DNA. Somewhere in my family tree there's a long line of people who loved naps and were irritated by everyone around them. I inherited both.

The difference now is that I've learned not to trust every annoyance.

When I was younger, if something bothered me, I assumed it meant something.

"He said that because..."

"She did that on purpose..."

"This is a problem."

Now?

Sometimes it's just because I'm tired.

Or hungry.

Or anxious.

Or I haven't had enough coffee.

Or menopause decided today's the day we're going to worry about driving in the rain for absolutely no reason.

Before I let myself get worked up, I try to ask one question:

Is this actually a Dave problem... or is this a Reese problem?

I don't always like the answer.

A lot of times, it's me.

Not because my feelings aren't real. They are.

But just because I feel something doesn't automatically mean I need to act on it.

One of the things Dave and I have gotten better at over the years is figuring out what deserves a conversation and what just needs a little time.

Some things absolutely need to be talked about.

If someone hurt your feelings...

If trust got broken...

If something keeps happening over and over...

Don't ignore it.

Have the conversation.

But not while you're standing in the middle of the emotional hurricane.

I used this analogy on the podcast, and it's still my favorite.

If the ocean is rough, you don't run into the waves.

You wait.

You let the tide settle.

Then you go in.

Conversations work the same way.

If I'm at an eight, nine, or ten emotionally, I'm probably not looking for a solution.

I'm looking for someone to agree with me.

Those are two very different things.

The older I've gotten, the more I've realized I don't actually want to spend all day fighting with the person I love.

I'd rather calm down.

Think about it.

Figure out if this is something that's really going to matter tomorrow.

Most of the time...

It isn't.

Now, don't get me wrong.

Dave still annoys me.

I'm sure I annoy him.

That's called living with another human being.

But after all these years, we've learned something really important.

You don't have to chase every irritation.

Some things deserve your attention.

Some things deserve a conversation.

And some things...

Need to be acknowledged, laughed at, and tossed in the trash on your way out.

Life's too short to carry every little annoyance around with you.

Trust me.

I know.

I notice all of them.

—

Continue the Conversation

What's something that used to drive you crazy that you've learned to let go?

Or what's one thing you've realized really does deserve a conversation?

Click the Send a Voicemail button on the right side of the Manic Joy website and tell us your story. We'd love to hear it, and it might even become part of a future episode.

—

🎙️ From the Podcast

This week's post is inspired by Ep. 160: What The Bear Gets Right About Marriage.

One of the biggest things Reese took away from the conversation wasn't about The Bear at all. It was about learning that not every feeling deserves to become a fight.