You know what question I hate?
"So... what's new?"
I don't know.
I did three loads of laundry.
I yelled at the dishwasher.
I watched Dave almost destroy his car trying to bring home linguine.
That's what's new.
Here's the thing.
When you've been with someone for a long time, you eventually run out of updates.
You've heard all the childhood stories.
You know their favorite movie.
You've heard about every terrible boss they've ever had.
You know exactly why they hate that one intersection in town.
The "getting to know you" questions?
Those are over.
That doesn't mean the conversations have to be.
It just means you need better questions.
Not deeper questions.
Weirder questions.
Questions like...
Would you rather live under a personal rain cloud forever or let your friend fight a grizzly bear?
Congratulations.
You just bought yourself a forty-minute conversation.
Nobody remembers the conversation that started with...
"So... how's work?"
But ask somebody if they'd spend the rest of their life standing under a rain cloud to save one friend...
Now you've got something.
Because nobody answers those questions the same way.
Dave immediately said he'd save his friend.
I immediately asked...
"Which friend?"
Apparently, that was the wrong question.
I disagree.
Context matters.
Always.
You can't ask me if I'd let my friend fight a bear without telling me which friend.
Some of my friends?
The bear should be nervous.
Other friends?
I'd start writing the eulogy on the drive over.
Those are two very different situations.
And yes...
I will die on this hill.
The funny thing is that somewhere in the middle of arguing about an imaginary bear, you stop talking about the bear.
You start talking about yourselves.
You find out who's practical.
Who's emotional.
Who's looking for loopholes.
Who's willing to sacrifice everything.
Who's trying to keep everyone alive.
You accidentally learn something new about someone you've known for years.
Not bad for a conversation that started with a bear.
So tonight...
Skip "How was your day?"
Ask something impossible instead.
Then settle in.
Because you're probably going to be talking about it for the next hour.
Just don't ask me to answer without context.
I'm still going to ask...
Which friend?
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Okay, settle this for me.
What's the best ridiculous question you've ever asked your partner?
Don't type your answer.
🎙️ Click the "Send a Voicemail" button on the right side of the page and tell me your favorite. We just might feature your voicemail in a future episode of Manic Joy.
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This article was inspired by a conversation from Episode 159: Impossible Hypotheticals Every Couple Will Argue About.
Host / Wife / Mom / Friend
