Ep. 158: Sleep Divorce? We'd Rather Fight the Pillow | Midlife Marriage, Sleep & Relationships

[00:00:00] 

 

Dave: When we went to Disney, we were exhausted from a long day of just walking around that park, and we had this brilliant, what we thought was a brilliant idea. We were in the Animal Kingdom. 

Reese: Oh my God. 

Dave: Remember this? 

Reese: That's the best. 

Dave: We were in the Animal Kingdom. 

Reese: This is- 

Dave: And they had these rooms-

Reese: classic core memory ... 

Dave: that you'd go in, and there was this one room that was all about the sounds of the rainforest or something like that. Or at least that's what we perceived it to be. And we were like, "Guys, listen. It's not gonna be bad if we just go into this rainforest room." 

Reese: Put the headphones on.

Dave: "There's nobody in there. We put the, we put the things on, and it- ... it's the sounds of the rainforest, and we'll just go take a nap." Ah. "It'll be cool." So we go into this thing, and we're like, "Yeah, all right." And well, how old were the girls at that age? At- They were- ... at that point ... 

Reese: four- fif- 14, 15 

Dave: Maybe. Wow. 

Reese: 16. 

Dave: So they were younger, of course.

And so we were like, "Yeah." We were all like, "Yeah." So we all go into this thing. We put the headphones [00:01:00] on. 

Reese: Core memory. 

Dave: And we start the movie, and it's like first, first it seems normal. It starts with like a shh. Yeah. The birds chirping. 

Reese: Very comforting. 

Dave: And the things. We're like, "Oh, yeah, this is gonna be perfect."

And then all of a sudden this, like, old lady starts speaking. She's like, "This is the rainforest." And it was all about, like, the destruction of the rainforest. So then all of a sudden you hear, like, chainsaws. 

Reese: Like, "Rah." 

Dave: And, like, tractors coming in to, like- 

Reese: Oh my God ... 

Dave: we were like ou- our, like not sleeping at all.

Like, our eyes- 

Reese: We were, like, leaning up against the wall with the headphones. 

Dave: Oh my God. 

Reese: Like, "Okay." 

Dave: And we all kind of looked at each other- 

Reese: And everybody like ... 

Dave: like, "Let's get the fuck out of here." Like, "This is not good."

Intro Music: This is Dave. This is Reese, and this is Manic Joy, a podcast about life, love, and, and uncertainty.

Dave: Cheers. We're trying this. Salud. I'm calling this the Red [00:02:00] Vesper.

Reese: Okay. What's floating on top of there? 

Dave: Animal skin. It's fucking lemon. I like it. 

Reese: Ew. It's got a oaky afterbirth. 

Dave: Yes. Thank goodness. I'm gonna say not as good as the original. 

Reese: Right. 

Dave: But I'm okay drinking this. 

Reese: It's pretty good. 

Dave: Not bad. 

Reese: I don't hate it. 

Dave: Yeah. All right. Hi, Reese. 

Reese: Hi, David. 

Dave: How are you? 

Reese: Pretty good- 

Dave: Yeah

Reese: actually. 

Dave: Okay. I'm glad you had to search the- ... the mucus storage unit- 

Reese: Oh my God ... 

Dave: for an answer. 

Reese: Can we please open up with the- 

Dave: Mucus- 

Reese: Yes ... 

Dave: storage- 

Reese: I've had- ... 

Dave: unit ... 

Reese: Yeah, I- 

Dave: You actually sound good. How you feeling? You better? 

Reese: Oh my God, I feel- 

Dave: You feel a lot better, I bet ... 

Reese: so much better. This started I [00:03:00] wanna say it's been two weeks.

Dave: Yeah. 

Reese: A week and a half. It's been a, it's been a while. Um- 

Dave: It has been a while, actually. 

Reese: Yeah. I normally... I don't normally get sick. 

Dave: Mm-hmm. 

Reese: Um, it's very... it's... I mean, it happens 

Dave: It's the pickled, pickled liver that keeps you healthy. 

Reese: It happens. I honestly- ... every old lady that they always ask, like, "Oh, what is your secret to a long life?"

Whiskey and not being around men. Mm-hmm. So, you know, one out of two is whatever. 

Dave: That'll do it. 

Reese: So yeah I had a, a rough go for about a week and a half, and I normally don't get sick. What ha- what happens is that I'll get sinus infection- Mm-hmm ... or- 

Dave: Yeah ... 

Reese: this time especially, my allergies. There's so much pollen everywhere that you cannot escape it, and it just hit me overnight.

I woke up in the morning- This whole thing, it feels like my nose is like the size of my- 

Dave: Face? ... [00:04:00] 

Reese: entire top of my head. And so it go it's in there, and I can't breathe, and then I get headaches, and it's like a whole thing. And I'm sneezing, sneezing, sneezing. And it sounds like it's a cold, but it is...

The allergies go into my sinuses, and I'm, I'm done for. So I was not a happy camper. I slept terrible. I was just miser- miserable. And then my nose wouldn't stop running. Yeah. It wouldn't stop running. It was all the time. And I think I went through... I'm not, I'm not even exaggerating. I think I went through, like, four boxes of tissues in a very short amount of time.

So there was that, which was fun. And then I was, like, telling you, I was like, "It just... I don't know where all the mucus... Where does it come from?" 'Cause I will blow my nose, blow my nose, blow, and there's so much. And then I'm like, "Ooh, sweet relief." Literally 10 minutes later, I'm ready to go again. It's horrible.

Yeah. It [00:05:00] was horrible. And then, um, you, you said, uh, was it... I, 'cause I'm thinking there's, like, a lot of room inside of there. So there's enough storage space, but you called it a, uh, mucage. Mucage. 

Dave: Yep. That's what I called it. Mucage. 

Reese: Era- fi- erase that. Take that out. 

Dave: No. 

Reese: Um, mucus storage- Mucus storage 

Dave: unit ... 

Reese: unit.

Dave: Yeah. 

Reese: The, uh- 

Dave: M- MSU ... 

Reese: MSU. Yeah. But I took a little bit of medication, whatever. I just kind of let it run its course this time. I did buy stuff just in case it happens again, 'cause I, I c- I can't do this again. Yeah. It, it's so miserable. 

Dave: I realize I should probably tell people, we said we're, we're drinking the Red Vesper.

So we had to go out later in the day. You took a nap, and then we were like, "Let's go get some alcohol now then." So we had to go to the Methuen alcohol store. That's how I think they should go, alcohol store. And it was miserable. All we wanted to do was get home. Oh my God.

This was the fastest jaunt. We were like- We had- ... pa 

Reese: pa, pa pa, pa. 

Dave: Yeah. 

Reese: All we did was b*tch and moan at 

Dave: each 

Reese: other because- 

Dave: We, we are, we are [00:06:00] totally like the, those, whatever the Statler and- I never- ... whatever his face from, uh- 

Reese: Yeah, I never remember their names, but the, from The Muppet Show, sitting up in the balcony- So anyway

but we're in the car. But it's, it's really miserable being around people. Yeah. So it's just- Yeah ... that's also not ideal. 

Dave: So we were just like, "Okay." And then, so we went in there, and I had... I was like, "All right. We gotta get some gin. I m- might as well get some new Lillet Blanc because that's running out, so let me get that."

But they had Lillet Rouge. Oh. And I was like, "You know what? Let me grab a bottle of that." Hence our Red Vesper. 

Reese: I'm, I mean, I don't hate it in a pinch 

It's pretty good 

Dave: I think it's okay. 

Reese: I'm not- But the regu- the real- 

Dave: The regular one's the best ... 

Reese: the OG Vespa is the best. 

Dave: Yeah. So this is fine. 

Reese: It's the vest, Vespa.

Dave: Yeah. So then I've been having a craving lately for an Italian sub. And so I was like, "Let's just stop at Market Basket in Methuen." It's on the way home after we go to the alcohol store. I was like, "Let me get some things to make the sub." [00:07:00] Hey, time out though, that sub was fucking good. 

Reese: It, honestly, when we make things at home it- 

Dave: It's so much better

Reese: it usually tastes better. 

Dave: Because I have a, I have a way. 

Reese: Yeah. And if there's hair in the food, we know where it comes from. 

Dave: That's exactly right. 

Reese: So- 

Dave: We know it's Peppa's- 

Reese: Yeah ... 

Dave: or Magic's probably. Or Magic's. Probably been Magic's. Probably. 

Reese: Or mine. 

Dave: Or yours. 

Reese: Or the girls. 

Dave: Or mine. 

Reese: Nope. They're not really... 

Dave: I, not a lot it's mine- Yeah

but sometimes. Sometimes. Sure. But anyway- 

Reese: Yeah ... 

Dave: uh, really good sandwich. Yeah. But then we, we just couldn't wait to get home, and then it was like, oh, the Methuen High School graduation is today- Yeah, we couldn't even get down our own block ... and they closed down that street. And I was like, "We have to remember not to go that way back home."

Reese: It was like everything. 

Dave: And so we- 

Reese: It was like being in a video game that sucks. We- And there's no winning. Oh. No one wins. 

Dave: Trying to get to the checkout line, it was a whole thing. Anyway, we made it, we got back home, and it was like we both like jumped on the floor and kissed it because we were like-

Reese: I know, seriously

Dave: thank God we made it.

Reese: I know. 

Dave: We were literally out for like less than half an hour. 

Reese: I really, really, really understand agoraphobes. A- I mean- And that, well- It runs in my family ... 

Dave: I'm not that bad, but yeah. 

Reese: Eh, it runs in my family, and I can [00:08:00] totally understand just wanting to be home- Yeah ... all day and never leaving the house because the, there's nothing out there for you.

Dave: No. 

Reese: There's nothing out there for anybody. 

Dave: Well, I got very excited when I saw the, the alcohol store delivery van. I was like, wait a minute. 

Reese: We're gonna have to, uh- 

Dave: We can just do that now? 

Reese: We're gonna have to look into that. 

Dave: Oh. We're gonna have to look into that because- That might be... If the prices are cheaper than DoorDash, they're on the list.

Reese: Yeah. 

Dave: Pretty cool. 

Reese: I'm with you. 

Dave: All right, Reese.

So here's what we're gonna talk about today. In a, in a, in a phrase, sleep divorce. 

Reese: Yes. 

Dave: Dun, dun, dun. So we're gonna talk about- 

Reese: And it's not as bad as it seems.

Dave: Uh- 

Reese: As it sounds ... 

Dave: well, maybe. Maybe not. I don't know. So you'll tell us a little bit more about that. We're gonna talk about kinda what's going on there with that whole situation. 

Reese: We're gonna be talking about what goes on in the bedroom. 

Dave: And as we... Oh, hey. Oh, hey. So stay tuned, folks. You're, you're- 

Reese: Or stop listening, put your- 

Dave: Yeah, because you're-

Reese: earphones in ... 

Dave: in for a doozy. 

Reese: Yeah.

Dave: Sleep divorce. 

Reese: Sleep divorce. Sleep divorce. 

Dave: So, so tell me, tell me about- 

Reese: Everybody's getting a sleep divorce. 

Dave: Let's hear it for the sleep divorce. 

Reese and Dave: Divorce. The sleep divorce. Sleep divorce. Everybody's gonna get the sleep divorce.

So [00:09:00] tell me a little bit about the sleep divorce. 

Dave: What'd you learn about sleep divorce? 

Reese: So this is what I learned about sleep divorce. First of all- ... I know a few people actually- 

Dave: Do you? ... 

Reese: that sleep separately from their spouse. They actually ha- no, have their own entire bedroom. 

Dave: Sleeping domicile. 

Reese: Yes. They- 

Dave: Okay.

Reese: Yeah. 

Dave: So this is what it is, right? It's not... so I c- I grew up with my, like in, in the earlier days, my grandparents slept in separate beds. 

Reese: Right. 

Dave: And so, and that was normal. They, but they were in the same room. 

Reese: Right. 

Dave: And I think if I'm not mistaken, you were telling me earlier that sleep divorce is really all about being in separate rooms.

Reese: I think it's in separate- 

Dave: So it's not- ... 

Reese: rooms ... 

Dave: it's, I feel like the, like maybe there's the separation period if you're in separate beds. But if, if it goes beyond that, then you're in sleep divorce and you're in separate rooms. 

Reese: Well, it gives... So [00:10:00] I found out reasons- 

Dave: Okay, tell me ... 

Reese: for that too. 

Dave: Tell me. 

Reese: So I asked to give me some statistics and facts about this phenomenon.

Dave: Mm-hmm. 

Reese: Right? So it says about 31... And again, it's AI, always fact check it. We didn't get a chance to do that. 

Dave: We're not gonna. 

Reese: So allegedly- ... allegedly- Yeah ... about 31% of US adults report sleeping separately from their partner at least occasionally. More than one third of adults say that they sometimes or consistently sleep in another room from their partner.

One- 

Dave: How many percent? 

Reese: One third of adults. 

Dave: Oh, one third. So 33%. 

Reese: Some surveys have found that one in six couples have intentionally a- adopted separate sleeping arrangements to improve sleep quality. And a 2017 National Sleep Foundation survey found that nearly one in four couples sleep in separate beds.

Uh, why couples [00:11:00] sleep separately, the biggest reasons are snoring. Different sleep schedules. 

Dave: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 

Reese: Restlessness, tossing and turning. Different temperature preferences, which is, I think we, we kinda get that a little bit. Medical conditions. But I'm pretty sure we're both gonna have our CPAP machines at the same time.

Dave: Well, 

Reese: so y- like- So it'll be like rah, rah at the same time. 

Dave: Finish, finish the list, but I got things to say. 

Reese: Okay. Different mattress preferences. Okay. W- a one survey found that 82% of people living with a partner say their partner wakes them up at night. 70% reported better sleep quality, 42 said it- Improved or rejuvenated their relationship some reported improved intimacy because they were less exhausted and less irritable. So when did the sleep divorce trend start? The term sleep divorce became popular in the late 2010s and early 2020s, but the practice itself is ancient. 

Dave: [00:12:00] Ooh. 

Reese: What's funny is that for, that much of history, sleeping separately wasn't considered strange at all.

By the 19- early 1900s, many experts actually recommended separate beds for hygiene and health reasons. Mm-hmm. Twin beds were marketed as modern, healthy, and sophisticated. I always think of, like, I Love Lucy. That was the first time, like, as a kid I saw- 

Dave: Yeah, separate beds and, 

Reese: uh, yeah ... a married couple in separate beds, and they made, like, it...

They made, like... It was a statement that they were in separate beds. Mm. You know? It was, like, kind of... I was like, ooh. So 1950s, 1960s, separate beds started becoming associated with unhappy marriages. Society began emphasizing togetherness, romance, and the idealized nuclear family. Mm-hmm. So twin beds fell out of favor. And then i- to go through just historically wealthy medieval couples in separate chambers, nobility o- often maintained separate sleeping quarters connected by adjoining rooms. [00:13:00] Renaissance canopy beds, couples shared a large enclosed bed with curtains for warmth and privacy.

I'm trying to see. Oh, Victorian separate bedrooms, 1800s. Among the upper class, husbands and wives often had separate bedrooms. It was considered refined and practical. And, um, yeah, the Hollywood twin beds, 1930s, 1950s. TV shows like I Love Loosey- Loosely. I Love Loosely. 

Dave: Is that your, uh, your dating manual?

I Love Loosely. I Love Loosely?

Practical Dating Handbook by Reese Charest. 

Reese: Or a scholarly, uh, dissertation. I love loose leaf. Anyway. 

Dave: Loose leaf. 

Reese: Loose leaf. 

Dave: Also funny. 

Reese: Yeah. All right. Okay. Anyway, uh, and so a fun podcast question- Oh ... that it came up to ask the listeners, would you rather have eight hours of uninterrupted sleep every night in a separate room, or sleep next to your spouse every [00:14:00] night, but lose an hour of sleep?

Dave: I think an hour is fine. That's my, my point of view on that. 

Reese: I feel like that's what we lose anyway. 

Dave: I feel like an hour is fine to me. It's, it's when you get beyond that. 'Cause, like, I think a good sleep for me is, is anywhere between six and eight, right? So like sev- like, so let's say you're s- you were gonna get eight and you're losing an hour to sleep with the person that you like to sleep with, like- Well-

I'm, I'm okay with that ... 

Reese: it's funny because when you travel for work, I still can't sleep. 

Dave: So, so that's the- So- So here's the interesting thing I think about our situation, and I think what, honestly- It'll be interesting to see how this changes, right? Mm. Because I think we do enjoy sleeping together. Mm. We like to be in the same room.

Mm-hmm. We like to be in the same space. I think it is good that we have a king-sized bed. 

Reese: Yes, I think that- 

Dave: Because- ... 

Reese: is very helpful ... 

Dave: because once we're kinda done canoodling and whatever- Right ... and we wanna sleep, we kinda go on our separate sides of the bed. 

Reese: Although some nights- 

Dave: And then we, you know- 

Reese: Some nights you do s- linger- 

Dave: We [00:15:00] encroach

Reese: a little bit too long- 

Dave: Too long ... 

Reese: on my space. 

Dave: Okay. 

Reese: And I- I- 

Dave: Good to know ... 

Reese: I do get a little miffed, but I, not enough to wake you up and move you. But I'm always like, "Ugh." Oh. I'm always like, "Well, you have to move." 'Cause sometimes you're- 

Dave: So just tell me to move ... 

Reese: I love you. I love you- 

Dave: Whatever ... 

Reese: so much. 

Dave: Whatever.

Reese: But sometimes, like, you're all like you're on my pillow too. Like, you're on my pillow. I'm like, "How are you still on my pillow?" And you'll, like, wrap your leg on me. 

Dave: Yes. 

Reese: And then I- ... get hot. Like, I get- Well- ... sweaty and hot ... 

Dave: and I've been getting hot lately too. 

Reese: Well, yes. Really. You've been, we, you took on my menopause- Yep

which is fantastic. Yep. Love that for you. 

Dave: Yeah. It's a good time. 

Reese: Uh, but yeah, so, I- I'm like a rotisserie chicken. I'm like, like this- Mm ... all night long. I, like, circle around. I'm like the hot dog on, in the 7-Eleven. I'm just like this. And it could-

Dave: Good references. 

Reese: I, you know, I, because it, I'm up at night thinking of them.

Oh, okay. I'm like, "Why am I like [00:16:00] this?" 

Dave: No wonder. That's why you're up all night. 

Reese: It's very frustrating because I- I don't ever remember... I used to be, like, back in the day, I would sleep at anybody's house. I'd sleep anywhere. It was never an issue for me. There have been times I slept in a ba- in bathtubs.

I've slept... One time as a goof I slept in a dresser drawer in college. Did it, had no problem with it. I've slept on floors, couches, chairs. S- s- I fell asleep one time, I got super drunk, uh- ... on my birthday at Ruthann's house. She had an apartment in New York, and we went out drinking, and I had way too many cosmopolitans, and the cab ride home, I was like, "Oh, this is gonna be bad."

And I make it up, I think she was like eight floors up. It was really just painful. And I get up there, I was doing pretty good, and then all of a sudden I was like, "Blah," and I start throwing up. And then I just, it felt comfortable to lean on the sink 'cause I was splashing my face, and I had fallen asleep standing up leaning over with my [00:17:00] head on the faucet.

And when I woke up, I was like, "Ah." It, like, I had to unstick, and I had a huge square here from the faucet, and the next morning was Easter, and my father had to come pick me up in New York on Easter, and I had this big S- like indent and he was like, "What?" I was like, "It's fine." Horrible. But I slept.

I slept- Yeah ... on the faucet. Like, I could sleep anywhere. And I can still kind of sleep anywhere, but for some reason, I d- I don't know, when I'm in the bed, I'm just like reow, reow, reow. Like I, I can't... And I have to do a lot of things before I go to bed now. I have like a routine and I have a whole thing.

And before we can even get to the snuggle, I gotta do all these things, and then I just, I don't know. And I gotta be near my phone so I can tap it to see what time it is all the time. 

Dave: Yeah, you're obsessed with the time. Always. Why don't you just get a clock? And it will always show you the time.

But anyhow, [00:18:00] I'll digress. So I feel as though, yeah, I typically don't have a problem sleeping. I- 

Reese: No, you turn right over and go right to bed ... 

Dave: usually. The only times I, I don't sleep well is when there's something kind of scratching, you know what I mean? Yeah. That's kind of, that I, I, that I'm mulling over- Yeah, yeah

right? Or something that I need to get out or something like that. Yeah. Typically, otherwise, I'm pretty good. I have not been sleeping great- Within the last month or so. But getting better. And yeah, I think for us at least, we're not at the stage right now where... Like look, we both snore. But it's not a problem for the two of us.

Right. Like, it's not snoring that keeps us awake- Right ... usually. 

Reese: Right. 

Dave: I think what will be interesting as we get older is if we do run into health related things. But I'm, you know, knock on wood, I'm hoping we don't get anything crazy like that. 

Reese: Well, I'm feeling- But- ... at some point one of us is getting the CPAP.

Dave: Do you think so? 

Reese: I can see it. 

Dave: I don't know. I feel like- 

Reese: I mean, I feel like with my [00:19:00] sinuses- I don't know ... something's gonna happen. 

Dave: I don't know. I, I, I hope not. I feel like we'll be okay. But- Yeah ... so that would be... So that, that is the thing that would lead me down that questioning path of... 'Cause right now, like, I don't see any reason for...

there's no reason for us not to be in the same room, or to sleep in the same bed. 

Reese: And we're pretty good because you have your side, I have my side. 

Dave: Right. That's what I'm saying. Right. Like, 

Reese: you, you have your doom pile, I have my doom pile. 

Dave: Mm-hmm. 

Reese: Both of our nightstands are fucking chaos. Although I did- give it a refresh- 

Dave: You do like to do refreshes ... 

Reese: the other day. I like to do a refresh. But I think for the most part we do enjoy sleeping in the same bed. I also have my mask- Mm-hmm ... with the Bluetooth- Mm-hmm ... so that blocks out snoring or anything- 

Dave: Oh, that's true ... 

Reese: that's going on there. 

Dave: That's true.

Reese: You know what I mean? Yeah. Um, and I like to listen to that app with the, that gives me all the different... They have one for tinnitus. Yep. They have one for calming your brain and, and sleep [00:20:00] and all that. So that actually has been wonderful that... What is it, Endel? 

Dave: Endel. Yeah. 

Reese: If Endel wants to spon- 

Dave: Highly recommend it if anybody wants to check out that out

Reese: uh, wants to sponsor us, I'm a huge, I recommend it to everybody. 

Dave: We both love that. 

Reese: Oh, God. 

Dave: You use it a lot for sleep. I use it a lot for focus- Mm-hmm ... and doing work during the day. Mm-hmm. I, I think it's great. 

Reese: It's super helpful. I actually... It's better than... You know, we were talking about this the other night.

Dave: Apparently it's got a, like a, an intimacy one in there too. Maybe- Oh, okay ... maybe we should try. I don't know. I don't know. Oh, yeah. Eh. All right. Well, let me ask you this question then. Okay. Would you feel rejected if your partner suggested separate rooms? So if I said, "Hey, you know what? Maybe we should just sleep in separate rooms."

I will say this. We got into a little bit of an argument the other night, and I got to the point where I was like, "Fine," and I just, I was like, "I gotta- Yeah ... just get out of the room." 

Reese: That was weird, 'cause usually I'm the one that will do that. 

Dave: Yeah. 

Reese: You did that. 

Dave: Well, because I think we're like, "If we feel it getting too heated, we're just gonna remove ourselves."

And I was like, "You know what? I'm just gonna do that." And I was like, I didn't wanna deal, and so I [00:21:00] was like, "I'm just gonna go." 'Cause I was actually really tired and I wanted to sleep, and I wanted to just go sleep. Yeah. So I got up and I actually went into the office and slept on the couch. Literally- After the first, like, minute of me being like, "Ugh," I fucking passed out.

Reese: Yeah. 

Dave: And I was like, "Ooh." And then I don't even know what time you came in, but you were like, "Come to bed." And I was like, "Okay." And I was like- 

Reese: You kinda... I feel like you laughed. You realized, like, you were asleep in the bedroom, in the, uh- Yeah ... office. You were like, "How, how-" 

Dave: Yeah. 

Reese: Like, I think you were like, "Why am I in here?"

Dave: 'Cause, 'cause like I said, I passed out. 

Reese: Yeah. 

Dave: That felt like... How long was I in there? I- I don't even know what time you came in- 

Reese: It wasn't that long ... 

Dave: 'cause I didn't even look at the time. 

Reese: It wasn't long. 

Dave: It wasn't? 

Reese: I was like- 

Dave: Okay. It felt like, 'cause I passed- ... 

Reese: like, an hour or two ... 

Dave: I passed out. 

Reese: I passed out too.

Dave: And I felt like it, it was great. 

Reese: I went to bed and I woke up like I usually wake up- Yeah ... and you weren't there, and I was like, "Oh, that motherfucker went and slept in the fucking someplace." So I went, I went, I didn't even go- 

Dave: So you found me. 

Reese: I didn't even go in the, in the office first. I- 

Dave: Oh, you didn't?

Reese: Yeah ... w- no. I went [00:22:00] into... I don't know why I would think you would go in the TV room, 'cause the cats are there and they're- Hmm ... they'll drive you nuts- Mm-mm ... if you try to sleep in there. Mm-hmm. And so you weren't any- And I was like, "Oh my God, he's in the freaking office," and then there you were, snug like a bug in a rug.

Dave: I, I really did. I passed out. 

Reese: And I really was gonna leave you there, but then I was like, "But then I don't wanna sleep in the bed without you," so I was like- 

Dave: I know ... "

Reese: Get the fuck up- Yeah. Yeah ... and back into bed, idiot." 

Dave: So and that's wh- and then, you know, I went into the bedroom and it was like, okay, cool. And I, I passed out there too, but I, like, literally, I was like, "Whoa."

I, 'cause I us- I wasn't expecting to, to... I guess I was just really tired. Yeah. I, but I did not expect to pass out that well- 

Reese: Yeah ... 

Dave: right at that point. But anyway. 

Reese: Yeah. 

Dave: So I mean, how would you feel about that, though, if, if I was like- 

Reese: So- ... "

Dave: You know what? I think we need to sleep in separate rooms." 

Reese: So it depends on the circumstance, because-

Dave: I, I agree.

Yeah ... 

Reese: right? So if there had been something leading up to it where we finally get to the point where it's like, "I'm just gonna go make up the spare room or whatever and- 

Dave: Mm-hmm ... 

Reese: kinda we're gonna d- on a trial basis." But [00:23:00] it also depends on, like, the tone and how you're saying it and how you broach it- Sure ... I think is important, and I also think the extenuating circumstances- 

Dave: Yeah

Reese: gives a lot into- 

Dave: Well- ... 

Reese: why that would happen. 

Dave: Well, let me give you a per- a a perspective here, is that I feel like if it was, if it was a health-related thing, I think obviously we're like, we would do what we need to do. 

Reese: There'd be no question. 

Dave: We gotta do what we gotta do. We gotta try to do it. If it was a relationship related- 

Reese: Right

Dave: suggestion- 

Reese: S- that would be different ... 

Dave: I feel like that would be different. 

Reese: That I would 

Dave: b- that would be very suspect. And that would bother me. 

Reese: Yes. 

Dave: And that would not be something I would be like, "Really?" But I guess it would depend on- what was happening with our relationship that led to that point.

Reese: Right. 

Dave: Right? Like, you know what I mean? Right. And so, so yeah, I think a lot of unknowns in that. Mm-hmm. But I think that would be my divide. I'd feel, like, less good about it if it was relationship related, and I'd [00:24:00] feel fine about it if it was health related. Right. Because ultimately we want each other to be healthy.

Reese: No, I'm with you on that. I, I feel like if it's, like, a relationship thing, step one is sleeping in separate rooms. Step two is probably- 

Dave: you're separate lives- 

Reese: Yeah ... 

Dave: and a whole other thing. 

Reese: Right, which is not something that I would handle very well- 

Dave: Well, I don't think it's anything that-

at all ... you and I are really interested in. 

Reese: No. No. And- 

Dave: You know? Right So I don't know. 

Reese: And I like, I like knowing that you're sleeping in the bed with me. Yeah. Like, I know that you're there. 

Dave: Yeah. 

Reese: You know what I mean? So if it gets to the point where- 

Dave: I'll do a Ferris Bueller and just put the, the snoring- The-

the snoring dummy. 

Reese: Yeah. Oh, you mean yourself? 

Dave: Oh, you mean myself? Ah. Ah. Actually, that would be funny. When I go on trips I'll just put the sleeping dummy in there. 

Reese: No, thank you. 

Dave: Yeah. All right. Well, so let me ask you this then. Yes. So what would you think would be a bigger threat to our marriage, sleeping apart or being [00:25:00] exhausted all the time?

Reese: Well, I think both of those things can't be good 

Dave: but let's put it this way. The sleeping apart would be so that you wouldn't be exhausted all the time i- if this was the scenario, 'cause I don't think it's our scenario, but if that were the scenario, the sleeping apart would mean we're getting a good night's sleep- 

Reese: Well, the statistic-

Dave: and then we're coming together, right? And then if it's we're sleeping, we're being... We're exhausted because we can't sleep when we're together. 

Reese: Well, the, that, there, we have the statistic there that I don't... Sta- fu- fu. 

Dave: Yeah. 

Reese: Oh, God. I really... How do I teach public speaking? I really sometimes wonder. 

Dave: Me too.

Reese: Seriously. Seriously. 

Dave: I, I didn't even wanna say anything, but- 

Reese: I really, really, really need to get on that But okay. But no statistically, it, it said that it helped marriages. Like, it helped with the intimacy- 

Dave: Well, you would think so ... it helped with all of that. If you- But- ... you were in a situation where...

[00:26:00] Again, like I can see, like right, if you're tired all the time, you're exhausted, you're irritable you're too tired to be, ... uh, what's the word? Now I'm doing it. 

Reese: I feel like- 

Dave: Attentive ... 

Reese: right. 

Dave: I- Like, you know what I mean? Because you're- 

Reese: I feel... No, but I feel like honestly we work well sleeping in the bed together, and also we have learned to adapt to the intricacies that happen when we're sleeping in the bed.

Like we, we don't have to go apart from each other. Every once in a while, like I said, you're in my, you're in my space- Yeah ... for a little bit too long. You linger over there. But then it's fine, and I get over it, and I fall asleep and it's fine. And I put my mask on with my Bluetooth- Yeah ... and I, I block it all out.

So we make a point to- make sure that we can sleep in the same bed together. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? Like, we- Mm-hmm. But there are some people that just, that are just like, "No, we're cool. We're cool. We're not going [00:27:00] anywhere, but I need to have my own space." And I'm, we're really not like that. We're both kind of space in- invaders with each other, so.

Dave: Well, yeah, we kind of, like, enjoy being in our proc- like, close proximity- Mm ... to each other. Like, we still enjoy that. 

Reese: And we're good with that. So 

Dave: it's 

Reese: not like, uh- Like, we could both be in the same space doing work- 

Dave: We're both touchy feely people ... 

Reese: or whatever, yes. 

Dave: And we're, we like to do that. 

Reese: Yes. 

Dave: So that, that works for us.

Reese: And we're kind of like, we're definitely like cats, where we like to be in the room with the people. We like to be near them. Sometimes we like to be close, and then sometimes we just, we just wanna be in the general- ... vicinity. Yeah. We don't need to be con- where dogs are like, "Hr." Yeah. They constantly have to be on top of you.

Dave: Yeah. 

Reese: We're cat people. Like, we- 

Dave: Mm-hmm. Yeah, that makes sense ... 

Reese: I totally understand, My favorite thing is sometimes when I can't sleep, I go in the TV room, and the cats are like bookends. I got- Yeah ... Peppa sleeping on the little perch, and Magic sleeping right across from me on the, the little foot stool.

What is it? What is that thing? 

Dave: The ottoman? 

Reese: The O- the [00:28:00] ottoman. Uh, the Ottoman Empire. Yeah. Hmm. And, uh, and they just like to be near you. They won't come sleep on me, but they'll come, like, sleep around me. Yeah. And I get it. Like, they wanna be in, in the room where it happens. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So it's, yeah.

Dave: That makes sense. All right. 

Reese: All right, what else you got? 

Dave: I got this. If separate bedrooms guaranteed the perfect sleep, would you do it? 

Reese: Yes 

Dave: All the time? 

Reese: I- if we could do it, like, once or twice a week where we can just have perfect sleep- so I- ... I'd try it. I would love that for you. I- And I would love that for me.

Dave: Well, I would- 

Reese: I don't, I haven't had- 

Dave: So I would, I would- ... 

Reese: the perfect sleep in years ... 

Dave: I wouldn't, I would love that for you because I know you, you struggle more than I do with sleep. But, so I guess it would de- it would matter on, uh, again, it's difficult for us because we don't have such a hard time- Yeah

with us sleeping together. 

Reese: Yet. 

Dave: So it's, like, hard to... Right. well, again, right? Yeah, exactly, yet who knows what's gonna happen. Right. [00:29:00] But as of now, we're pretty good. Again, right? But I would say this. If a perfect sleep were guaranteed and there were, there were, like, big days for us, like, I would totally be cool with, like, "Look, hey, tomorrow I got a big day, I'm gonna go in the other room because I gotta make sure I get a perfect sleep."

Because I definitely, like- 

Reese: That would be, that would be fine. Yeah. Who would, who would get mad at that? 

Dave: You would... Well, you would think. 

Reese: Oh, I thought you were gonna say you, you would. I would- 

Dave: No, no. 

Reese: I would not. 

Dave: You would think. Yeah. This takes me to, we saw Obsession recently. Oh. And I could see that- It was so good

being like, "Hey, I'm gonna go sleep in the other room." 

Reese and Dave: No. No. No. No. No. 

Reese: Argh. That would- So good. Also- So good ... if you don't like horror movies, don't even bother, but- 

Dave: It was good, yeah ... 

Reese: Obsession was phenomenal. 

Dave: Uh, so yeah. So I feel like in that situation, definitely it would be an occasion thing. 

Reese: Right. 

Dave: Again, that's barring not having problems sleeping typically.

Reese: And I think if, I think if, like, out of [00:30:00] nowhere you said to me, "Hey I have this idea that I was thinking maybe we have sep- separate sleeping quarters," like, if it happened out of nowhere, I would be like, "No." 

Dave: Yeah. "

Reese: W- okay, weirdo." Well, yeah. And like, I mean, yeah. Like, I would, I would be suspicious and weird and be like- 

Dave: Because if it was weird

Reese: "Why are you doing that?" 

Dave: But if it was like, "Listen," like, you know. 

Reese: Right? Like- So- ... and, and I would totally understand. If, 'cause of the, the nature of how I sleep and I'm tossing and turning and I'm up going to the bathroom two or three times a night- Mm-hmm ... and, like, all this stuff and y- let me just preface this.

When you hit a certain age, especially women, you're gonna have to go to the bathroom several times during- Yeah ... the night. Yeah. There, there's no getting around it. That's why I'm not camping at this age. I'm very- ... skeptical of whose place I'm sleeping at because I'm like, "Where's your bathroom?

Sleep, but put me next to a bathroom." 

Dave: Where's the outhouse? 

Reese: Where's the outhouse? Definitely not an outhouse. The other night I slept at, for the first [00:31:00] time I slept at Jonnie and her boyfriend's apartment. Mm-hmm, if I tell you the cutest thing ever, just a quick side quest of the story just to explain it.

Okay. One of my apprehensions was I'm gonna get up and pee a million times. I don't wanna make, wake these kids up. I don't know. 

Dave: Aw, they got you Depends? 

Reese: But they... It's, I, listen- ... if I had to- just to make them happy and it wouldn't disturb them I would do anything for those kids. But that's besides the point.

She sets everything up. She m- pulled, uh, has the pullout bed on the couch the whole day. Mm-hmm. I told her I could just sleep on the couch. "No, no, no." She was so excited. She had the tub, and it was all organized with all the sheets and the things and everything, and then she sets the whole thing up. She puts a little cat doll on there.

She puts her big koala, her- Yeah ... doll that she had since she was a kid, put the whole thing. And she goes, "I'm gonna leave the light on." She has a little desk that's, like, in the middle- In the middle, yeah, yeah, yeah ... between the bedroom and the- So you can see where the bathroom is ... it's a cute little thing.

She goes, "I'm gonna put the light on for you so when you have to get up to go to the bathroom- ... it's on." And I [00:32:00] said to her, I was like, "You don't..." She's like, "No, no, no. We're gonna leave it on." I said, "Okay." So cute. And it's the best thing she ever did because the apartment is, like, pitch dark. Yeah. And it it was...

She knew. She knew I was gonna get up- Yeah ... like 1,000 times to go to the bathroom, and it was, she, it was so thoughtful. So, I think about these things now when I'm going to places. The bathroom is the one thing. Mm-hmm. I'm like, "Where, where am I going?" I need to know. So I feel like- But like your routines change as you, you get older and your sleep patterns change and- Yeah

I really remember like up until I wanna say my 30s, I would sleep through the night without a problem. Once I got into like my 50- 40s or 50s, well, 40s definitely, late 40s, I, I don't know, sleeping was just a bitch. Well, you ready? It was just awful. 

Dave: Well, here, here's w- Here- What's changed the most about sleep as you've gotten older?

And this opens up everything, right? So we talked a little bit about bathroom trips. Mm-hmm. Myself included, I am now in the, I definitely get up at least [00:33:00] once a night to go to the bathroom. 

Reese: I'm ready to tell you the biggest one, which you don't, you don't really have a problem with. Okay. But keep going. Go ahead.

Dave: So this is one of them, I think. Yeah, that, I mean, that's the biggest one. Again, most recently we mentioned this a little bit ear- I definitely get like night sweats and shit. Like- 

Reese: You've been getting the night sweats ... 

Dave: I, so- Yeah ... I mean, this- 

Reese: It's interesting ... 

Dave: just the other day. Like I'm not even like, but I was- 

Reese: And it was before the weather got, started to get warm

Dave: I was, my shirt was drenched. Yeah. I'm like, "Why am I sweating?" And like I'm, I wasn't sick or anything. There was a little, a time there where I, where I was sick or- Yeah ... a little bit. But like recently, like no, it's been fine. Like I'm just, I'm drenched. 

Reese: And that's what menopause is. It's like, 

Dave: "Holy shit." 

Reese: It's like you go to bed and you're like, "Oh my God, I'm so cold," and then all of a sudden, before you know it, head to toe- 

Dave: Yeah

Reese: completely. 

Dave: Well, you've got the, you've got the menopause thing going on. 

Reese: Well, I'm kinda- Right? 

Dave: Like- 

Reese: I think I'm a, I think I'm in the late- 

Dave: Or you, you passed that now, yeah ... 

Reese: stages of it. I think I'm like, I'm over the hurdle of it. 

Dave: Mm-hmm. Um- So what, what does that, does that mean you don't, you're not up because of that anymore?

Like is it different or- 

Reese: No, no, no. I, I, I [00:34:00] just think also like age-related, I think it's just weird. And then it's also weird that like I don't sleep well, but I am up at 5:30, 6:00. 

Dave: Well, so- 

Reese: But I refuse to get out of bed. I'm still in the mind frame of- 

Dave: But yes, you are definitely- ... 

Reese: this is not the time for waking up.

You need to keep sleeping for as long as you can. Yeah. But I just wanna say this. The pillow. The fucking- 

Dave: Oh, you c- you w- well, it's- ... 

Reese: pillow ... 

Dave: definitely difficult to find a, a comfortable pillow. Listen. 

Reese: I have been, I've been fighting the pillow wars for- 

Dave: But you and I both ... 

Reese: years 

Dave: And the only thing that keeps me sane is honestly those little fucking pillows- 

Reese: I know 

Dave: that I know are annoying as shit. 

Reese: You have 17 of them. 

Dave: I have three. 

Reese: David doesn't like any throw pillows, any extra- Oh ... extraneous pillows. 

Dave: Throw pillows are stupid. 

Reese: He thr- he actually throws them 

Dave: 'Cause they're not, they're not built for sleeping ... 

Reese: does not want them. No, it's decoration. 

Dave: Yeah, I don't need that.

I don't need decoration on my bed. 

Reese: No one needs it, David, but we all- 

Dave: You're my bed decoration ... 

Reese: want a... Yeah, [00:35:00] yes. I am a throw pil- I w- Oh ... every female loves a throw pillow. 

Dave: Okay. 

Reese: We love it. There's no reason for it. 

Dave: Useless to me. 

Reese: They're outrageously- 

Dave: Useless ... 

Reese: expensive. 

Dave: Stupid. 

Reese: So stupid. 

Dave: Dumb. 

Reese: But the aesthetic of it, it ma- it's, it's adult.

Dave: Unnecessary. 

Reese: When you get to the throw pillow stage of your life, you're like, "I am officially an adult," and you pay $15 for a raggedy-ass fucking decorative pillow, and you're just like, "This is the best pillow ever," 'cause it... And you, you can't sleep on it. It's not comfortable. It's not meant for you to sleep on.

Dave: Not at all. 

Reese: It's just meant for it to be there and look cool as shit. But that's besides the point. I've been struggling with a comfortable pillow now for a very long time. 

Dave: Mm-hmm. 

Reese: And I have gone through- 

Dave: Well, same. This is what I'm saying ... 

Reese: i've gone through several. TikTok has definitely influenced me to buy certain products which we don't have to get into, but one was this one particular type of pillow.

I'm not gonna give them [00:36:00] any type of exposure- Yeah ... because I've had such a terrible experience just trying to get the pillow. I first saw it on TikTok. I was like, "That looks like- Is 

Dave: it coming tomorrow? ... 

Reese: this is what I need." 

Dave: Is tomorrow when it's supposed to come? 

Reese: Yes. 

Dave: Okay. 

Reese: Fingers crossed. We'll see. 

Dave: I know.

I'm, I'm, I'm rooting for you. 

Reese: So mon- thank you, babe. Months ago, I ordered, I saw it on TikTok, and sometimes, like, on TikTok, they have an Amazon shop, so I, I go there 'cause we have the Prime and I'm like, "I'll get that faster." So I go, and I order this pillow. It's been two weeks, and they're like, "There's a delay."

I'm supposed to get it in two days. There's a delay two weeks later. Three weeks later, I was like, "This is nuts." I cancel it. I cancel the order. I'm like, "This is crazy." So I go on TikTok. I get a coupon. I order it there. Again, delay. It's been like three months. Yeah. And I'm like, "You know what?" 

Dave: Forget it. "

Reese: Fuck this fucking pillow."

Like, I'm, I've had it. Finally I'm [00:37:00] like, "You know what? I'm gonna give it one more try. I'm just gonna give it one more try." I ordered it again on Amazon. It's supposed to come tomorrow. 

Dave: I hope it comes. I hope it comes. 

Reese: I'm really, I really hope it does, because this looks like this could be the answer to all my problems.

Dave: I, I, listen- 

Reese: And if it does and it works, I will give them- 

Dave: I hope so ... 

Reese: all the shout-outs. 

Dave: I hope so. 

Reese: But this is it. Yeah. Because this is, it's the pillow. Because I was sleeping- 

Dave: I need to get a, I actually do need to get a, a better... I need to get a new main pillow. 

Reese: I'm like cranking. 

Dave: So I might wait. I might wait to see how you do with yours.

Reese: Okay. 

Dave: So what I will typically do is when I would travel, if I end up having a good night's sleep and I find a good pillow, when I'm, I wi- I will look up, like, what is this pillow? 

Reese: What the... We did that one time. 

Dave: We've done it a couple of times. The one I have right now is because of doing that, and it's just, I think it's just old now.

Yeah. I need to get a new one, 'cause it's not as, 

Reese: I remember the best- ... 

Dave: plump as it was, 

Reese: but- The, the best night's sleep, pillow, bed, comforter, room temperature, everything- 

Dave: Mm-hmm ... 

Reese: was Joe Pospisil and Peggy's wedding. Do you remember that hotel and that [00:38:00] bed? 

Dave: Mm. 

Reese: That, I'll n- I'm never gonna get over it. 

Dave: No. Nope, I don't at all.

Reese: It was the most... I felt like I was sleeping on a cloud in heaven. 

Dave: Oh. 

Reese: I slept- 

Dave: Like that ... 

Reese: like an angel. Yeah. I just I think about that all the time. I think about that, and the best steak I ever had was at this place that, I, I h- I went to a wedding. It was at a hall- 

Dave: Oh ... 

Reese: in Long Island. The one you didn't get 

Dave: to eat?

Reese: Yeah. Was that that one? Well, the first, the first time I went there, I went with a friend of mine to one of his buddy's weddings, and it was the best steak I ever ate, ate. And then the... I don't know. We went there years later, you and I as a couple. Mm-hmm. And I, all I could do was talk about the steak, and then I had one shot too many.

Dave: Mm. 

Reese: Never even made it to the steak. Mm-hmm. That was the night that I was, uh, Courtney Love, and I- 

Dave: Yeah, yeah, yeah ... 

Reese: had to get escorted out of the facility. 

Dave: Well, let- let's not talk about that. Let's not, let's not talk about that. Well, we've talked about it before on the podcast, [00:39:00] but let's save that for another one.

Reese: Uh, let's not get back into it. But anyway, so I think right now my mortal enemy is the pillow 

Dave: Yeah 

Reese: But like once- 

Dave: So- 

Reese: We, once I get- 

Dave: I wanna give this pillow a shout-out because I've been trying to mention it and then we keep getting sidetracked. Mm-hmm. But the pillow that I, that does save me, that makes anything bearable- 

Reese: The little round pillow

Dave: the little round pillow. It's called the Total Pillow. 

Reese: Yeah. 

Dave: And it's one of these As Seen on TV pillow type things that you get them in like packs of two or three, and I will, I probably due for a reorder. 

Reese: No you're not. There's three of them. 

Dave: No, no. They're old. I need to replace them- Oh, God ... is what I'm saying.

Reese: Make sure you get rid of those three because- 

Dave: Yes, of course. No ... 

Reese: there's so many 

Dave: I, I, I'm gonna save them in my in my, with my cat whiskers. 

Reese: In your pillow, in y- 

Dave: With my cat whiskers. 

Reese: Listen. No one asked you to bring that up. No one asked you to bring that up. That is something that we do not talk about in public.

Dave: Okay. I didn't talk about it. 

Reese: The first rule of cat whis- [00:40:00] cat whiskers in the little tiny teacup club is we don't talk about the cat whiskers- 

Dave: Okay. Well- ... 

Reese: in the little tiny tea club ... 

Dave: listen, if you're, if you're hearing this- 

Reese: Cup club ... 

Dave: just pretend that didn't happen. 

Reese: Shh. 

Dave: So the Total Pillow. I don't know why 

Reese: What's going on with my face?

Dave: Yes, it, for whatever reason it allows me to... You can manipulate it, you can move it, and it, it ma- ac- makes you- 

Reese: It actually is- 

Dave: It's comfortable 

Reese: It's, it's, it's- 

Dave: It saves me ... 

Reese: it actually is fine. 

Dave: And it's the proper, like when you wanna look up, you wanna do something, it supports you in the right way.

Like- 

Reese: Sometimes when I wanna s- 

Dave: It works ... 

Reese: like when you, when I wanna- Yeah ... when I'm the- Yeah ... the big spoon- 

Dave: Yep ... 

Reese: on you and I wanna do a little cuddle- Yep ... I'll use one of those little pillows- 

Dave: Yes, it's perfect ... 

Reese: just to throw it in there. 

Dave: And same for me. When I'm on, I'm the big spoon, I come over and I gotta plop that over there to give me the- 

Reese: No, you put the, you just sleep on my- 

Dave: Uh, it c- it comes with me

Reese: f- f- fucking pillow. 

Dave: No, I don't. 

Reese: Take over my space. 

Dave: I come with over the thing. Deal with it. 

Reese: But you know what? Y- Yes, but that little pillow is not gonna save me. 

Dave: But it's not like the main pillow, yeah. 

Reese: My, the pillow I have right now is, I, it's supposed to be soft but stern [00:41:00] type pillow.

Dave: You mean firm? 

Reese: Well, like- 

Dave: It's "Listen, you better go to sleep now." 

Reese: Listen. Listen, you. 

Dave: You son of a... 

Reese: no. I, I guess firm is the right word. But anyway, it rhymes. 

Dave: Stern. 

Reese: So I sleep on it, and it's like, then I get a crank in my neck, so I'm like, all right, let me turn to the other side.

I get a crank in that side. Yeah. Then I, sometimes I sleep on my stomach, and then it like pushes up my nose. Mm-hmm. Like I'm like suffocating myself. 

Dave: Yeah. 

Reese: And I'm like, "I hate this." 

Dave: I know. 

Reese: And then I push the whole thing, and then I sleep underneath it with it on top of my head. It's a f- it's a circus. It's very bad.

It's, it's not great. 

Dave: Pillows, man. 

Reese: It's not ideal. 

Dave: It's not easy. 

Reese: It's really about the, the pillow. If, if, 

Dave: I'd actually be curious if you think you have, like the perfect pillow. Like, let us know. Because- 

Reese: I'll take any recommendations at this point. 

Dave: I will... And then we're gonna come to your house- 

Reese: I am suffering

Dave: and we're gonna take a nap- 

Reese: We try it out ... 

Dave: before we- 

Reese: I'll try it out ... 

Dave: invest any dollars 

Reese: I'll come to your house and try it out. 

Dave: Yeah. Yeah. So. 

Reese: It's all good. 

Dave: All right. Well, let me, let me ask you this question: What's the weirdest thing you've ever done trying to fall asleep?

Reese: You, you go first. 

Dave: I, I don't [00:42:00] think I've done anything weird to try to fall asleep. I have... The only things that I've done is, you know, listen to the sounds. I've 

Reese: What's the weirdest sound that you've listened to, to, to fall asleep? Has there ever been anything? 'Cause I have one. 

Dave: Well, so this doesn't really count, but it kind of does.

I'll tell the story. When we went to Disney, we were exhausted from a long day of just walking around that park, and we had this brilliant, what we thought was a brilliant idea. We were in the Animal Kingdom. 

Reese: Oh my God. 

Dave: Remember this? 

Reese: That's the best. 

Dave: We were in the Animal Kingdom. 

Reese: This is- 

Dave: And they had these rooms-

Reese: classic core memory ... 

Dave: that you'd go in, and there was this one room that was all about the sounds of the rainforest or something like that. Or at least that's what we perceived it to be. And we were like, "Guys, listen. It's not gonna be bad if we just go into this rainforest room." 

Reese: Put the headphones on.

Dave: "There's nobody in there. We put the, we put the things on, and it- ... it's the sounds of the rainforest, and we'll just go take a nap." Ah. "It'll [00:43:00] be cool." So we go into this thing, and we're like, "Yeah, all right." And well, how old were the girls at that age? At- They were- ... at that point ... 

Reese: four- fif- 14, 15 

Dave: Maybe. Wow. 

Reese: 16. 

Dave: So they were younger, of course.

And so we were like, "Yeah." We were all like, "Yeah." So we all go into this thing. We put the headphones on. 

Reese: Core memory. 

Dave: And we start the movie, and it's like first, first it seems normal. It starts with like a shh. Yeah. The birds chirping. 

Reese: Very comforting. 

Dave: And the things. We're like, "Oh, yeah, this is gonna be perfect."

And then all of a sudden this, like, old lady starts speaking. She's like, "This is the rainforest." And it was all about, like, the destruction of the rainforest. So then all of a sudden you hear, like, chainsaws. 

Reese: Like, "Rah." 

Dave: And, like, tractors coming in to, like- 

Reese: Oh my God ... 

Dave: we were like ou- our, like not sleeping at all.

Like, our eyes- 

Reese: We were, like, leaning up against the wall with the headphones. 

Dave: Oh my God. 

Reese: Like, "Okay." 

Dave: And we all kind of looked at each other- 

Reese: And everybody like ... 

Dave: like, "Let's get the fuck out of here." Like, "This is not good." 

Reese: Amazing. 

Dave: Uh, so- 

Reese: However, that trip, we did sleep pretty good at night though. 

Dave: Oh, we slept when we finally got home- 

Reese: 'Cause we were exhausted

Dave: because we were exhausted from [00:44:00] walking all day, but That was- ... amazing ... 

Reese: that's a core memory ... 

Dave: 'cause it was the complete- 

Reese: I love that ... 

Dave: opposite of what we had thought- 

Reese: I love that so much ... 

Dave: was gonna happen. And then, 

Reese: I remember- 

Dave: I've, I've gotten up- ... 

Reese: when we went to Jamaica ... 

Dave: I've read a book. Like, I've- 

Reese: Jamaica I slept like a, like a- 

Dave: Yeah

Reese: amazing. 

Dave: I think the air and 'cause you're spending time outside all day, I think m- probably that helps, the outside air, the sun. 

Reese: Yes. 

Dave: All these things that- Yes ... uh, just make you feel, like, real- uh, rested and- Yes ... and ready to s- rest 

Reese: Ready to sleep. Yeah. Yes. And I think, like... So I tell you constantly, I cannot fall asleep before 9:00 or at 9:00.

Mm. I need to be in bed by, 10:00 is probably the earliest. 

Dave: M- meanwhile, I would... I'm in bed by sometimes 7:30. 

Reese: The other night you- I

Dave: would love to be asleep- 

Reese: The other night you tried- ... 

Dave: by 9:00 ... 

Reese: to snuggle with me, it was, like, eight, 8:40 something. 

Dave: Oh, yeah, I'm ready to go. 

Reese: And I was like, "Absolutely not. Get off of me."

Dave: I wanna be in bed by 9:00 because I usually get up at 5:00, and that's why 

Reese: Yes, but I get up at 5:00 too- 

Dave: You get up ... 

Reese: no matter what time. 

Dave: Well- 

Reese: But I hate it- 

Dave: But you don't get up at 5:00 ... 

Reese: [00:45:00] and I don't wanna be there. 

Dave: Like, you- 

Reese: I will not get up. 

Dave: Right. You stay in bed, and s- and, and listen, I, I am at an age where I prioritize sleep.

I think I've said this before. Like, if I got a horrible night's sleep, like typically what I wanna do is get up and go to yoga. But if it's like I had a horrible night, like I'm gonna say, "You know what? I'm not gonna go and I'm gonna sleep more." 

Reese: What... And what's also crazy is that I nap a lot. I come from- 

Dave: You do. You, you- ... 

Reese: a long line of nappers ... 

Dave: listen, you, you at least take a nap a day. 

Reese: I have to because- Yeah ... my brain is s- is the most active- 

Dave: Is a mucus storage unit ... 

Reese: is a mucus factory. My brain is in a constant, like all the tabs are open all day long- Mm-hmm ... and by like 2:30, 3:00, I need a siesta. And I have a little siesta, and I can still go to bed.

Like, there's sometimes where I could, I go to bed without a problem, it's just staying asleep is the problem. But the part of it is that I'm not comfortable. My arms, I sleep, [00:46:00] like I have different positions. So if I sleep on my left side, I sleep, like my hand is up here. And I usually stick my arm- 

Dave: I, I do, I do this

Reese: I stick my arm here- Yeah ... and I sleep like this, and I'm on my side. 

Dave: I do like, I do like, uh, the early break dancing moves. 

Reese: Yeah, sometimes w- Uh, sometimes when we're laying in bed I laugh 'cause we're sleeping in the same position- Yeah ... and that kinda cracks me up. Yeah. But then if I sleep on the right side, then I sleep like a flamingo.

Dave: Okay. 

Reese: Like my leg is like- 

Dave: On one leg? Yes, I see ... 

Reese: number four position. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And I'm like this, but then like my arm starts to fall asleep. 

Dave: Well, so that's what- That wakes me up ... that's what gets me these days, is my ar- my limbs fall asleep. 

Reese: They fall asleep. 

Dave: My arms. 

Reese: And it makes you- 

Dave: It's not, it's nothing but my arms

Reese: it wakes you up. But yeah. Like I'm like- Yeah ... if you're- 

Dave: And then you gotta do the, I do the, um- ... 

Reese: everything is sleeping, but if everything is sleeping, why is it waking you up that your arm is asleep? Make it make sense. 

Dave: It doesn't make any sense. It doesn't. 

Reese: So then, I, then if I sleep on my back- ... that's when I snore, 'cause I'm like- 

Dave: Yeah

Yeah. 

Reese: And I'm like, "No." Yeah. Or I [00:47:00] make oh, God, I make these noises, and sometimes you don't hear them, and I'm like, "How do you not hear it?" 

Dave: I'm passed out. 

Reese: But I'll be lay- I'll be laying in the bed, and then I'll be... Sometimes I'm like, "All right. Let me just lay on my back." It's like, it's- Yeah ... it's gonna be fine.

So I'm like, "All right. This is kinda comfortable." I'm like, "Okay." All of a sudden I'm like, "Eh." What is that noise? Why am I doing that? I'm like, "Eh." What is that noise? And I look over at you 'cause I'm so scared I'm gonna wake you up. 

Dave: Yeah. You, you- 

Reese: Nothing ... 

Dave: keep telling me these things about being afraid to wake me up, but I'm like, "You're not gonna- 

Reese: Out cold. Out cold ... 

Dave: you're not gonna wake me up." 

Reese: It's, that's my- 

Dave: The only thing that's gonna wake me up is if it's something like horrible, and typically just random sounds is nothing. 

Reese: There's been times I've heard bombs go off. Yeah. I, one time I heard- Yeah ... I thought there was a a thing outside the window. 

Dave: A thing 

Reese: Come on, what's that thing that floats around?

The neighbor does it across the- 

Dave: Oh, a drone? 

Reese: I thought a drone was outside the window. I was like, "Brring." I, like, heard it. I- 

Dave: Yeah ... 

Reese: b- I was like, "Okay." You don't hear- 

Dave: No ... 

Reese: [00:48:00] a goddamn thing? 

Dave: Usually, if I'm sleeping, no, I'm good. 

Reese: Any little th- anything. I can hear the cat sneeze in the other room. 

Dave: I'll tell you what I do- And I'm like, I'm up

hear, though. If, uh, if I'm not sleeping, I will hear somebody out in their car with their fucking music on. Like- Mm ... that's the type of shit that I hear. 

Reese: Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom. 

Dave: Well, I'm not even talking about the- 

Reese: And in this neighborhood- ... 

Dave: the deep bass things ... 

Reese: it's a lot. 

Dave: I'm talking about just, like, somebody listening to music in their car.

Yeah. Like, really? Fucking turn that shit down. Yeah. That type of shit will keep me up. But anyway, I don't know. 

Reese: Anyway, yeah. 

Dave: So this is where we are. So here's our assessment. 

Reese: Yes. 

Dave: Sleeping, right now- Yeah ... where we are, what are we? Yeah. We're 52. 

Reese: Yep. 

Dave: Right? 

Reese: Yep. 

Dave: Sleeping together is still good. 

Reese: Yeah. 

Dave: There, we have no health conditions or health worries that are making us or forcing us to be inconveniencing the other person.

Right? Exactly. And so we'll keep you posted, but as of now, things are good and I would prefer us sleeping in the same room. 

Reese: And I will take any type of- 

Dave: In the same bed ... 

Reese: any type of, um, recommendations you have for pillows because I, I gotta see what's happening [00:49:00] with the pillow that I'm getting. 

Dave: Yeah. Let's hope this comes in tomorrow.

Next- I'm excited about 

Reese: it ... next, uh, next- 

Dave: Yeah, I'm invested. I'm invested- 

Reese: I know ... 

Dave: in this pillow. 

Reese: Next time we do the podcast, I will probably have some s- if it shows up, 'cause I, I don't know if it's- 

Dave: And it doesn't get stolen. 

Reese: I don't know if it- Okay. There's two things that can happen. I'm thinking that these pillows- 

Dave: Or it gets delivered to the wrong address

Reese: never show up 'cause they're stuck in the Strait of- 

Dave: Or you get another bottle of, uh, fucking- 

Reese: Hormuz ... 

Dave: muscle amino acids. 

Reese: No, they're stuck in the... Oh, we didn't even discuss that. 

Dave: I know. We'll save that for another one. 

Reese: Uh, yeah. So I feel like the pillows are stuck in the Strait of Hormuz where we can't- Oh, yep, yep, mm-hmm

get shipping containers through. This one, I don't know where it's coming from, but I'm here for it. Yeah. I hope it shows up tomorrow. Everybody say a little prayer- 

Dave: Listen, friends ... 

Reese: it shows up and that- 

Dave: Let us know what's going on with your sleep habits these days. 

Reese: Yes. 

Dave: Are you- 

Reese: I was excited to have this-

Dave: pro, pro same room? Yeah, yeah. Uh, y- are things keeping you up at night? Yeah. Tell us what's going on. We'd love to hear it. And, uh, remember this. Y- I feel like you got something else to say. 

Reese: I was gonna say we should call this one Pillow Talk. Oh. Ah. Because that's what this has been about. You're welcome.

Dave: Look at you. Wow. 

Reese: You're [00:50:00] welcome. 

Dave: Well, I'll see what Cathy has to say about it. 

Reese: Okay. Freaking Cathy. 

Dave: Anyhow, friends, life is a group project. Be kind to each other.

Outro Music: We got the right stuff, we put the hammer right down.

We got the right stuff we put the hammer right down.