Dave and Reese explore how memory shapes marriage, and why couples often remember the same moments completely differently. This funny couples podcast dives into midlife marriage, communication, and the stories we tell ourselves in long-term relationships, with honest conversation, humor, and real-life perspective.
[00:00:00]
Reese: We both have a tendency to overreact about something very small.
Dave: Mm-hmm.
Reese: So if there's something, like if I'm stressed out about something and I don't talk about it, or something's going on, or I'm, I'm upset about whatever, and I don't talk about it and I push it down, I will get agitated or mad at something.
Dave: Mm-hmm.
Reese: With you.
Dave: Mm-hmm.
Reese: And it's, it's never what the thing is that I was
Dave: Well it's never the things What, so it's funny. So we can talk about this and we
Reese: both do it.
Dave: I, I ki Yeah, we both do. And I think what's the worst version of ourselves is when we let our tempers get the best of us. Because we both,
Reese: we both very bad tempers
Dave: have very volatile tempers.
Which is interesting 'cause you wouldn't necessarily think of, think it if you didn't like know us intimately
Reese: and then for two different reasons why we're like that. Yes. We had two different
Dave: completely
Reese: upbringings.
Dave: Completely
Intro Music: This [00:01:00] is Dave. This is Reese, and this is Manic Joy, a podcast about life, love, and, and uncertainty.
Dave: There it is. You locked and loaded. Yo, babe.
Reese: Oh, you're recording. You're recording. It says recording.
Dave: You did it.
Reese: I did it.
Dave: You learned.
Reese: Cheers. I did it.
Dave: Cheers.
Reese: Let's celebrate me being functional for five seconds.
Dave: Functional.
Once again, nobody does.
Reese: No,
Dave: it better
Reese: listen, our, our friends just texted us and said, Hey why come to Capital Grill and have some drinks?
Dave: Nah, I'm good.
Reese: I got my PJs on. I'm good. I got a free drink right here.
Dave: Mm-hmm.
Reese: I love you guys, but
Dave: well free. We should just tell them to come here and give us [00:02:00] $20 each drink.
Reese: Yes. Yes. Actually. I mean, we need to make some extra money. I need, I need that to be able to afford all the concerts. We're gonna be going to,
Dave: summer, summer Con concert series has started.
Reese: It's seriously like it is. I am, my head is, I can't handle it.
Dave: Let's talk about this and I'm pissed because I can't really tell you why I am pissed, but
Reese: look, if it's a surprise, just tell me.
Dave: Just No, you're gonna find out Sunday.
Reese: I can't wait Another day with another surprise. I had to spend all day yesterday with Miranda, who wouldn't tell me where she was taking me.
Dave: Yeah.
Reese: And it was two surprises. And I was like, oh my God, dude, just tell like I can't. And then the girls surprising me with the Bridgerton birthday. Like,
Dave: Listen, what a fucking wonderful world you live in.
Reese: It's the best
Dave: with all of these surprises.
Reese: But you guys need to fucking tell me.
Dave: No,
Reese: because I, it's too much.
Dave: That's, then it's not a surprise. Have you enjoyed it all?
Reese: Yes, but I don't [00:03:00] like a surprise when I know there's a surprise.
Dave: Oh, then maybe there isn't a surprise.
Reese: Mm. Too late.
Dave: Well, no, you already knew about it anyway, because I told you, remember when I said you get to choose for your,
Reese: oh, that's right. There were two. So you gave me a physical one and the other one not a physical. Although it might come to that. Let's, because we can't find a doctor.
Dave: Okay, let's take a moment.
This fucking sucks. Okay, so here's,
Reese: we're gonna have to ask ChatGPT how we
Dave: find a doctor.
Reese: No. How you and I can
Dave: Oh, how we take care of each other?
Reese: Yep. I'll give you a prostate exam.
Dave: I'm gonna need it. Oh, hey, OI need a a, we need a crash course in, uh, primary care.
Reese: Listen, it's gonna get to that because this is outrageous.
Dave: Listen, if you're local to us and you have a doctor that you know is accepting new patients
Reese: in 2026,
Dave: I think we'd prefer a female doctor.
Reese: Yes.
Dave: Right. I think we're both comfortable with that. Come on, man. So we've tried a couple of places, we've asked some friends and you know, we've done a couple of [00:04:00] things. So for those of you who don't know our doctor that we had, we've had for, since we've been here. Yep. So what, 10, 11 years?
Reese: More than that even.
Dave: Well, 10, 11 years. 'cause we've been here for that long, haven't we?
Reese: 2012
Dave: or 14, I'm thinking. Yeah. 14. Wow. 14 years. I totally in my head, I'm, I now I'm having man-o-pause. I totally thought. I said,
Reese: where'd you learn that? Where'd you learn that you're not allowed to steal menopause from us? It's not one of you.
It's all of you. And you're not allowed to steal that. Wow. So, um,
Dave: okay, that's fair.
Reese: Put in a kibosh.
Dave: That's fair. No, I don't wanna steal nothing from you. I don't wanna steal nothing from you. All right. I apologize. All right. Tough guys. I, I apologize to the female race.
Reese: Thank you. It's not enough, but fine.
Dave: Female race anyway. Why are you guys always running? So I'm gonna,
Reese: God, there's not enough alcohol.
Dave: Why does that noise keep coming out?
Reese: Well, 'cause it's every time you make a shitty joke, you're [00:05:00] deflating.
Dave: Wow. I need to go to bed.
Reese: Me too. Keep tell everybody our sorrowful tale.
Dave: Okay.
Reese: Of the doctor.
Dave: So our doctor decides, I'm not even gonna get the whole thing, but let's just put it like this.
Reese: Cliff Notes
Dave: poorly run. They decided now we can't manage doing insurance anymore, so we're going self pay. And didn't give us any like options as into like, Hey, if you're not gonna stay with us, here are some people that we know that we trust that are taking new patients.
Reese: It was like a double fuck you.
'cause it was like, fuck you, we're switching over to this.
Dave: Yeah.
Reese: And fuck you. You don't wanna stay with us.
Dave: Good luck to you.
Reese: Bye-bye.
Too-da-loo.
Dave: And so I don't remember it ever being like this.
Reese: No, no.
Dave: But every place I call, they're like, we're not accepting new patients, [00:06:00] or they're not accepting them at that, this thing.
But we have em here in East Bumfuck and you can get an appointment in 2027.
Reese: What are you paying health insurance for? If we can't get a fricking doctor,
Dave: don't get me started on health insurance, but, or insurance in general. Ugh. Anyway, but what the fuck? And so now, okay. In other parts of my life I would be like, okay, cool.
Like it wouldn't be as important. But I feel like right now is the time where we need a doctor,
Reese: bro. We're like a thousand years old now. Now is the time. If we ever needed a doctor my whole life,
Dave: this is it.
Reese: Really. I could have survived all the things that were going on every hospital visit. I think I would've been fine.
Why now? In
Dave: when? When we need it the most.
Reese: When we need it, the most,
Dave: when we need it, the most.
Reese: I just am very perplexed. So if anybody has an answer of like, what is going on with the issues with being able to get a doctor, I just, I, I am,
Dave: and [00:07:00] here's the thing,
Reese: I'm really confused.
Dave: I, I think we just need to try to find some, like family practices or something like that.
Like that are like a small practice, but I don't wanna run into the same situation.
Reese: Yeah.
Dave: Because it's like the ones that are owned by like the bigger hospital groups like that, those groups of doctors. So it's like, it's a fucking catch 22.
Reese: Is it that, is it just in this state or do you think this is,
Dave: I don't know.
Let me call some other states. I don't know, man.
Reese: Yeah. Call some other states.
Dave: I mean, like, I'm try to get an,
Reese: some people,
Dave: but you know what I'm saying people
Reese: listen from different places, like maybe they would know.
Dave: No, I know. But what I'm saying is like, like it's crazy. And like the two places that I did call, I think they're definitely part of.
Other larger medical groups. And it's funny because both of them, because you can tell the way they like, structure like the answering, right? Like the recorded message at the beginning
Reese: Yep.
Dave: Run by the same company. Like they're, [00:08:00] they're, it's a service. It's not really like Yeah. They're using the same service and it's like, so you don't actually talk to the doctor's office to make the appointment.
You talk to a scheduler who has doctor's offices stuff.
Reese: I'm even surprised that you were talking to actual people. 'cause I feel like, so we just finished watching an episode of Only Murders in the building of the season. And. The thing is that this robot comes in to place, oh, place.
Dave: They got a robot.
Reese: Take the place.
Dave: They, they have a robot. Doorman.
Reese: Doorman,
Dave: yeah.
Reese: And so they're like a
Dave: doorman.
Reese: So doorman. So some people like it, some people hate it. And mostly because it's gonna replace a job. And like there were things going back and forth and I'm just like, yeah, here we go, man. Here we go. It is soon gonna be the Jetsons, but in a horrible, horrible, horrible way where we're now headed into.
The world of AI and, you know, replacement of phone jobs, you know [00:09:00] what I mean? Like, you don't need it.
Dave: Phone jobs.
Reese: Phone jobs. You wanna get a phone job, yo Um,
Dave: yo, you should go to this place.
Reese: Phone job. It might end up with phone jobs if you can't get an actual job, but
Dave: is that like,
Reese: no, it's not, not like that.
That it's not like, whatever you gonna say,
Dave: I won't even. Nope,
Reese: nope.
Dave: Like this podcast for your ear holes.
Reese: Wow.
Dave: Yeah. You like that.
Reese: Ew, this episode is gross. This episode is icky. I'm getting the ick. All right. Yeah. Anyway, so just real quick. Mm-hmm. I had professional day today at the college, and they chose a workshop that I submitted, and it was risque to do it because most of the other workshops that were there, a good majority of them were about ai.
And I went to one too, where I can go and learn how to use AI ethically of course, and enhance my courses moving forward. And I would get paid a nice amount of money, but I would have to take [00:10:00] classes and all this stuff. It was really interesting actually. They had people on the panel that actually learned it and then put it into practice with their courses and they were able to get online class students to do their work in a way where they couldn't use ChatGPT.
Mm-hmm. Like all these little tactics. And I was like,
Dave: yeah,
Reese: I kind of love that because I do teach online classes and I don't know how to get around it there, but I've been putting into practice, so my workshop was about analog thinking.
Dave: Mm-hmm.
Reese: And kind of,
Dave: which I love,
Reese: I am starting to really understand my parents' nostalgia with stuff like on a different level.
Dave: Yeah.
Reese: Like if my father could have had a classic car, classic Buick, you know what I mean? Like old school car. He would like, that would be his dream. He would've loved that, right? But he always had a brand [00:11:00] new caddy
Dave: and a brand new bag
Reese: and a brand new bag. And, uh, he had like, to get the old school car would be too expensive.
You know what I mean? Like, and not practical. But to him he loved that. Like he, they always rever anytime that they can go back in time, go into a doop show or doing a thing, they would do that. It made them feel good. So like lately, what?
Dave: It, nothing, it's, it's so hard for me. I'm gonna go back in time.
Reese: I'm, I'm watching you spontaneously combust.
Dave: Yeah. And I'm trying not to because I wanna let you finish. I'm trying not to interrupt you.
Reese: No, I know because I, I yelled at you
Dave: and
Reese: because you interrupt me with your ticks
Dave: and then instead you what? You interrupted yourself.
Reese: Well, because it was so distracting
Dave: I couldn't help it.
Reese: You were like,
Dave: I was like, okay.
Reese: You're like Chris Farley.
Dave: Like,
Reese: it's fine.
Dave: Any who,
Reese: I'm telling five stories and I gotta wrap 'em up. So I'm understanding the [00:12:00] need to go back to like eighties and nineties. I, in my workshop I talked about like eighties and nineties where there was like some technology, but like. Not a lot, you know what I mean? Just, just enough. And it wasn't really in the classroom.
Dave: You, you spelled boobs on the calculator.
Reese: Yes. That was like the biggest thing was the technology. Yes. That was it. And it was fun. It was fun to do that.
Dave: It was great.
Reese: And the teachers would be like, well you can't use calculators in class 'cause you're, what? Are you gonna have a calculator in your pocket in the future?
Yeah. Yeah, we will. But who thought that
Dave: jokes on who now?
Reese: I know. I know. It's like crazy. So I, I did this workshop today and I didn't wanna make it like like teacher coded because there's other people from other departments mm-hmm. That don't teach. So I made it like for teachers and just like the practice at work or at home to kind of step back a little, I, last night I went to bed.
I did not go on my phone at all.
Dave: Good for you. I was asleep so early.
Reese: I [00:13:00] know.
Dave: Good for you though.
Reese: But I plugged it in, left it there. I watched a few episodes of Friends.
Dave: Yeah.
Reese: And then I was like, I'm gonna go to bed.
Dave: How was that? To actually watch episodes
Reese: and paying attention. I paid attention to the, yeah.
And, and I keep catching jokes.
Dave: Fun, right?
Reese: I keep catching the jokes. I'm like, I've never.
Dave: So speaking of jokes, as I'm sitting here trying not to say anything.
Reese: Yep.
Dave: It's like that episode of Friends where, where Chandler can't tell the jokes. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And like, I'm waiting for you to get to end so I can do all the jokes.
Yep. You know what, where he is like, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Reese: Them, save them up. Save them up in here.
Dave: Oh, I forgot 'em already, but,
Reese: and the,
Dave: it's fine.
Reese: Perfect. Yes. Thank you god. So the thing is, is that, you know, I gave them a challenge at the end. I said, you know, 'cause I, I've been doing this last semester in class handouts.
They put away their phones, they put away their computer. Mm-hmm. We have a handout and everybody reads like a portion of the handout.
Dave: Handout.
Reese: And then there's a, usually a little written exercise. So I give them like a minute or [00:14:00] two, a little brain drain, let them like just their own thoughts and creativity and critical thinking to answer questions.
And then I ask a couple people to volunteer their answer. We have a conversation, we learn the lesson. Then we apply it.
And then the next class is group work and they love it. And no computer, no phones, nothing. They don't look anything up. It's just old school. And it reminds me of when I was in high school and we do group work or whatever we were doing.
Yeah. It was very involved. Like, and so one of the jokes is I brought in my certificate of junior year. Senior year, which is like a big cutting of school when you're in high school. And I never did. And I got awards two years in a row for perfect at attendance. Like I, I loved school even though I got picked on and I don't know, like all sorts of drama was going on.
I still loved to be there [00:15:00] and maybe I didn't learn anything, but I don't know, it was engaging. Like there was always something, always
Dave: You learned the ways of life, Reese.
Reese: I really, no, like honestly, there was always. It was so great for my ADHD at the time because you have like all these little moments of activity. Yeah. You have like 45 minutes in one class.
Yeah. 45 minutes in another then gym, then lunch, then whatever it is. And it, it, it was such a great breakdown of the day. And the teachers were, and I'm not saying anything about teachers today. We as one of them, but I can't imagine K through 12 the kids, they're wearing the teachers out. Like it's it is, yeah.
We are struggling for our life to keep them engaged, interested. I went back to this just analog. Let's go back to the, old school ways of engagement. And I've also been putting into practice, so I'm not a hypocrite. Try not to be on the phone, like watching a [00:16:00] show.
Even though I didn't really do that tonight, but I was not on my phone all day today.
Yeah. During the professional day at the college, I actually put my phone down. I had my breakfast. I just was reading. They had these great little it was, the theme was, uh, Buffalo. I kept wanting to sing, uh, Buffalo. So soldier.
Dave: That's what,
Reese: but it was Buffalo stance,
Dave: what I was thinking. Yeah. Buffalo stance,
Reese: like moving forward or something like that.
They used the buffalo because they don't run away from,
Dave: you know that song Buffalo Stance
Reese: though? Yeah. It was Buffalo Cha.
Dave: Is that how it went?
Reese: Yeah, something like that. Nina. True. Nina Cherry. Was it Nina?
Dave: It was, it was.
Reese: Uh, and so
Dave: Neneh, Neneh,
Reese: Neneh Cherry.
Dave: Neneh Cherry.
Reese: Thank you. I'm sorry, Neneh. And so, uh, they
Dave: Why did I know that?
Reese: They had these, like that on the screens.
They had buffalo trivia and then they had buffalo jokes. Like it was so cute. Mm-hmm. I would've never noticed that 'cause I would've been on my phone.
So I sat at a table by myself.
Dave: I just wanna say my phone. It's in the bedroom.
Reese: Very good. Excellent, excellent. Um, my phone is not because I was [00:17:00] taking pictures.
Dave: You were.
Reese: So, there are some exceptions I will make with my phone. I love taking pictures. I don't wanna miss the moment. Yeah. That is like, but to be on it like that, like this,
Dave: yeah.
Reese: Like I, I'm not feeling well.
Dave: Mm-hmm.
Reese: When it's been three hours later.
And I've lost all that time and I, my, I'm just slowly chipping away at my attention span.
Sure. Which is already a mess. Mm-hmm. So it was nice. I sat today, did a couple of things. I sat today, I had my breakfast, no phone. I just looked around this lovely person that I've never met at the college before. Comes can I sit here? Absolutely. We were besties all day. Two different departments, two different jobs.
Does not teach. But she's like, I recognize your name because she's the one that like helps the students with accommodations. And she recognized my name. So I was like, amazing. And then it was time for lunch and I left, I left my phone and I, and the [00:18:00] food line was like kind of big. They had a lot of people there today, which was very nice.
And I stood on the line without a phone.
Dave: Good for you.
Reese: Have you ever done that?
Dave: In my life? Yeah.
Reese: No.
Dave: Recently?
Reese: Yes.
Dave: Uh, yeah. 'cause I try not to, I try not to use my phone.
Reese: Do you just stand there? You don't take your phone at I,
Dave: yeah. 'cause I kind of, well, so, so what's interesting is that's when the interesting things happen.
'cause you, you take notice of things. I like to take notice of things
Reese: I do too. But it is, the phone is like a third appendage. It has become so entrenched.
Dave: Right. It's, it's just a,
Reese: it's
Dave: a habit. It's,
Reese: it's a habit.
Dave: It's, I like the idea we're addicted. It's an, the idea of it of being without is better.
Reese: Yes. So I tried that. I've never done that before. I've never Good
Dave: for you
Reese: got online. I hope you do it more for anything. Yeah. Oh, I'm gonna keep doing it because actually I'm not gonna say it was easy at first when I was standing there I actually almost, I didn't, I'm not being dramatic, but I, I started to feel like I might [00:19:00] have a panic attack.
I didn't wanna get off the line because there were a million people in back of me. Mm-hmm. And I had to eat. You were really hungry. I was, because I was about to give the workshop right after that, and I hadn't eaten since like seven o'clock and it was seven 30 in the morning, whatever it was. So I was like, okay.
Luckily one of my buddies, he was behind me, so he was like, I turn around and I'm like, what time is it? And he tells me, 'cause I don't have my phone, I have no idea. I was also panicking 'cause I was like, am I gonna make it in time for my workshop? Because I, this line is so long and it, it's like right after lunch and I'm, I'm freaking out.
And so he's like, you're fine, you're good. 'Cause I told him I left my phone. He's like, you're good. He's like, you have plenty of time for your thing and it's gonna be fine. I'm like, awesome. He's like, let me know if you need help carrying your stuff over. 'cause he was in my workshop. Let me know if you need help carrying anything over.
I was like, thank you Mike. You're the best. Okay. [00:20:00] Then this one bops over. Hey Reese. I'm like, oh my God. Like three or four people I hadn't seen in like the longest time. So I had little mini conversations.
Dave: Yeah.
Reese: I looked around. I was watching everybody be like watching everybody have conversations.
Dave: Yeah.
That's
Reese: awesome. I didn't need to have, have one. Yeah. I loved watching everybody else be so hyped up because I mean, the first, yeah, there was just so much great conversation happening all morning. Then once I got to where the windows were and I got to look outside, I'm like, the sun finally came out like it was raining this morning.
I don't know it, I feel like a shithead saying this, but it was like nice not to behold be beholden to the phone.
Dave: Yeah.
Reese: Yeah. And that's crazy to think in 2026, that is an issue that I have along with my students and I'm trying to figure myself out so I can help figure them out.
Dave: [00:21:00] Yeah.
Reese: But they've had it since they're babies.
Dave: But I'm telling you, I keep saying, and I was writing about it today actually, that the AI piece of this is right, we've talked about this idea of it's just all, it's a whole bunch of the bad faster, right? Like it's the same, it is just, everything's accelerated and the only way that you can. Use AI and stand out as if you actually be more pointed and directive to it and, and involve yourself in the thinking, not just ask it to do the work and
Reese: it after.
Dave: Well, of course
Reese: people are not proof.
Dave: Yeah, yeah.
Reese: They're not proofreading.
Dave: Yeah. So it's that. Right? It's, but it's like, be more specific with it. Add your point of view and your stories because it can't make that up. But then also then review it and change things that are not true to you.
Reese: And that's, that has been the issue over the last year or two in higher ed and probably K through 12 as well.
Right. 'cause they all have access [00:22:00] to it.
Dave: Right. So, because you start to notice, you recognize what it looks like when the AI has written it. And so, but this is the point is that this is the only way if it's not that you don't use it. 'cause I, again, I used it to create this thing, but. It's the spec specificity of it that makes it unique and the point of view and the, again, the, the human pieces
Reese: and the Pandora's box has already been open.
Yeah. Yeah. There's no going back. But so either we, adapt and try to find a balance. 'cause I was gonna say, you and I are, don't forget what you were gonna say, but you will, you and I were very lucky. Write it down.
Dave: I am.
Reese: You and I were very lucky to have lived
Dave: right
Reese: in the middle of these generations of
Dave: Yes. I, I agree. I agree. Yeah.
Reese: Like the se and I didn't even mention the seventies because I was very young and there was no computers really. Like, there was mini computers. There was nothing really,
Dave: well, not personal computers.
Reese: Exactly. Like, you know what I, you know what I mean? So I didn't grow up with any type of computer [00:23:00] as a child.
Mm-hmm. Like speak and spell. That was a computer to me. You know what I mean? And then. We got to live life
Dave: and yet you can being still barely speak or spell.
Reese: We got to live life in a way that was so pure because there was no, no, no one was tracking us.
The government, our parents.
Dave: Our parents. Yeah.
Reese: Our parents. Right. We got to have so many freedoms that I feel like we do not, I mean we still have free will today, but it is, it's connected to technology and such a, a profound way and is moving so fast into it, being ingrained in everything.
Dave: Mm-hmm.
Reese: Everything. It's gonna be where you, it. Someone mentioned today about Minority Report and I'm like, yep.
Soon.
Dave: That's wild soon, but I mean, it could be. Well, so this is,
Reese: oh wait, wait. Lemme tell you this fun fact. One of the [00:24:00] speakers that I went to they were talking about ai. They did this. Program for their courses. He works with the, they have a police, what would you say on the campus? They train the police to, oh my gosh.
It's a police academy on at the campus. Okay. Okay. Uh, one of the guys who also does like it and stuff for them was saying how they have been working on the body cam connected with ai. So when they pull someone over, the information is, is going through the camera.
Dave: Sure.
Reese: Going into the ai and the AI starts the report.
Dave: Yeah.
Reese: Before the police officer
Dave: Yeah.
Reese: Even speaks to the person.
Dave: Mm-hmm.
Reese: That they're, that they pulled over.
Dave: That's pretty cool.
Reese: They're like running plates. Mm-hmm. They're doing all this stuff.
Dave: Yeah.
Reese: But his thing was to be ethical. When the officer reads the report after what the AI wrote, they have to go [00:25:00] back and go through every single thing to make sure.
Dave: Of course, yeah.
Reese: There wasn't any misunderstandings or, and I, the fact that they even had that type of conversation that they were like, yeah, ethically, like they're supposed to go. I was like, okay. That makes me feel good in a way.
Dave: Yeah.
Reese: I mean, we're talking about it in academic and it be, and
Dave: it's, it's also can be bad.
Reese: Yeah. So what was the thing? Um, I,
Dave: oh, I was gonna say that I keep, I, I think we're in line for, I'm gonna say within the next five years, there's gonna be a big event and like a lot of times you talk about it, like the bubble bursting and things like that. Like, I think we're gonna have a bubble burst moment with like, ai, for sure.
But part of this is going to drive, again, I think it's gonna be a positive thing. Although it may feel there'll be still, there will be negative ramifications, but I feel like it will ultimately be a positive thing. And I think that positive thing is already starting to happen where [00:26:00] everybody's trying to be offline, trying to be,
Reese: it's a renaissance,
Dave: it's a,
Reese: there's always some sort, sort of renaissance.
Dave: There's, there's gonna be a thing that brings be, this is in life, this is end up being a thing that brings people together and experience is gonna be a even bigger component than it has been in the recent years
Reese: when I was kind of freaking out about this stuff. 'cause I always worry about my job to be replaced as a teacher.
You know what I mean? Like, I, I worry about that all the time. And you had said to me one time that there's always been new technology that takes something else out. Mm-hmm. And we've always moved forward. Mm-hmm. There's like this little blip of oh my gosh. And everybody panics and people do suffer.
Dave: Yeah. But that's just,
Reese: but then we come out the other end.
Dave: Yeah. That's just life.
Reese: And I really never I never thought of it that way. I always thought, I'm [00:27:00] in my head, I'm right here, I'm present and I'm thinking, this is it. This is major technology that is gonna change everything that I don't know enough about.
So that makes me
Dave: scared.
Reese: Skeptical and scared.
Dave: Yeah. Yeah.
Reese: That's all. Yeah. That's all I have to say.
Dave: Wow. There you go.
Reese: But I do love the idea of the analog shit. I brought my tape player, they thought that that was amazing. And I was like, this is an actual mixed tape. Which I got from Sharon.
Dave: Oh, nice.
Reese: She had some mixed tapes.
Dave: Nice.
Reese: And one was like Sharon's mixed tape, whatever. And I was like, oh my God, I finally get to use,
Dave: you have any bangers on there?
Reese: There was some bangers on there. Yeah. They were enjoying it immensely. And then I just got my first review. I, I, so I did a mixture of technology and analog. And one of the things I did was use a QR code that they scanned and I told them, email me, give me feedback or help me continue the conversation and let me know what you [00:28:00] think.
And someone actually sent me an email and said how much they enjoyed it. Good. She also said that she's an only child. 'cause I talk a little bit about my background and she's like, we, and I told her I was an entrepreneur. I showed them the little flyers I used to make about making clubs. I had a Pink Ladies Club and the Michael Jackson Club.
Yep. And I told her like I used to. And, and so that's why she's like, we should have a only child's club, which I think we should unite because we're, you know, we're weirdos. We're just weird and it's fine.
Dave: Bunch of people.
Reese: And it's good
Dave: vying for attention.
Reese: Yeah. But I, anyway, so the thing I I love right now is that we're having a conversation which is very analog, face-to-face.
Mm-hmm. Having an A
Dave: I've got a pen.
Reese: A, a pen, right paper. But you used, and I, I did admit to them the handouts that I gave them. I was like, yeah, I used the, I Yeah, of course. But everything that's on that paper came from my [00:29:00] brain. Yeah. And the AI was able to make it. That's the thing, it gets me, I just ramble a thing into the ChatGPT and then I tell, I was like, can you make this make sense?
Yeah. Polish it up, make it like a handout and make room for students to. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Write things down of what they think about certain topics that I said five seconds later. Brilliant. I print it out because I need to look at it. I don't wanna look through the screen. I actually need to like, have a hard copy so I can make notes.
Mm-hmm. I make sure everything is the way I want it to be, and then I use it. I saved, if I had to type something like this myself, it would take me two hours to do it. Yeah. I have a crazy Frankenstein idea in my head. I tell it to do the thing and it fucking does it. I know. And I'm done in two seconds and then I can go back to napping.
Dave: Yep. There it is.
Reese: Who's better than me?
Dave: Not many [00:30:00] people.
Reese: Maybe it's using all the water. Please don't start with, it's using up all the they'll, they're gonna figure it out. And if you're saying that while you let the water run Water, water run while you're brushing your teeth, don't talk to me. Don't talk to me.
Dave: Any who.
Reese: I'm fine.
Dave: Here's what we're doing.
Reese: What are we doing? What are we doing?
Dave: 30 minutes later, Jesus Christ. Let's I, 30 minutes
Reese: later. I know. I can tell a story.
Dave: So here's what we're doing. We're we're, you know, last time we're kind of revisiting some earlier episodes. And again, appropriately we've used ChatGPT, Cathy mm-hmm.
Specifically to kinda reimagine what these episodes could be like mm-hmm. For where we are today and if we kind of pushed it a little bit. So we're kind of going back to our second episode, which was our love episode when we started this podcast, life Love and Uncertainty, which we've changed a little bit here these days, but it's kind of some questions around that idea.[00:31:00]
And so my first question for you, Reese
Reese: mm-hmm.
Dave: Is this, what part of our relationship would have scared early version of us most?
Reese: So I read that question.
Dave: And I saw that question and now I'm gonna speak and spell that question for you.
Reese: Speak and spell. No, the thing is is that, it's so funny because our whole, from the day we met mm-hmm.
It was controversial and then dating, was drama because right when we decided we're good, we like each other, my father gets sick. Yeah. And I go through this whole traumatic experience. And you were there through the whole entire thing and stayed. Mm-hmm. Even though, I don't know, like most people would be like, this is very intense.
Mm-hmm. And we had only been together for like two or three months before things went.
Dave: Yeah.
Reese: Crazy. And then. We decided, okay, [00:32:00] we're committed. And you had to deal with the aftermath of losing my father and like how whacked out my mother and my grandmother were and how stressed out. And it was not a f it was fun at first.
Dave: Yeah.
Reese: And then it was like a series of unfortunate events.
Dave: Well, I think, right. We had a whole bunch of things that I think, well, I, well actually, I'm curious. So I feel like I had a lot of things that were scary from like our relationship, because like we were in your hood
Reese: Yeah.
Dave: And there was your family.
Reese: Yeah.
Dave: But there wasn't a lot of that on my side because obviously like I wasn't from there.
Reese: Mm.
Dave: And so I had to deal with a lot of, like, again, what happened with your dad your mother,
Reese: then dealing with my mom,
Dave: right. Your family. Yep. All of that kind of stuff. And just that,
Reese: yeah.
Dave: And again, I say deal with, you know what I mean though, but
Reese: No, but you did.
Dave: And so
Reese: it was difficult. That should not have been that hard.
Dave: And so. That's what she said.
Reese: Thank you.
Dave: There you go.
Reese: I appreciate you.
Dave: I know your brain was itching. Yeah. Yeah. Right. [00:33:00] Like, and so, but to me, again, like I had already decided that like this was good. Right?
Reese: But most people would bail on that.
Dave: That's what I'm saying
Reese: take a step back.
Dave: So we got a lot of that, like scary stuff. Like,
Reese: well, that's what I'm saying early on,
Dave: that I don't think he would've
Reese: on it was like that and that and that. And then we go and we do this, you know, we have this grandiose proposal.
Dave: Mm-hmm.
Reese: Mm-hmm. And this very short engagement period, and then we go and elope.
Yeah. Knowing what was gonna happen. Which set off my mom even more. And I don't blame her actually.
Dave: That didn't bother me at all. But
Reese: yeah, it bothered me. It was, it was a lot.
Dave: I had my own reasons. Yeah,
Reese: it was a lot. But I'm glad we did what we did.
Dave: Yeah, me too.
Reese: That would not have,
Dave: listen, I can't think of anything.
Like I don't regret any of the decisions we ever made if
Reese: my dad was still around. Big wedding.
Dave: Yeah.
Reese: Yeah. Oh, something. We would've done something and it would've been great. Mm. But since he wasn't there, it, there was no buffer. So it was gonna be what it was gonna be anyway. Yeah. But from that to then, you know, dealing with [00:34:00] what, like a month or two later, finding out I'm pregnant.
Dave: Mm-hmm.
Reese: And that, and. Oh, they have to come out early. Really?
Dave: Yeah. I mean, I guess that's true too.
Reese: Give us a break. Yeah. Give two months early. Give us a break. Let us just enjoy something. Yeah. Before some catastrophic thing happens.
Dave: Yeah.
Reese: And then they have to be in the hospital for two months.
Dave: Yeah.
Reese: I have major abdominal surgery with the C-section, so it was like bam, ba like all this stuff.
Yeah. And then fi like they come home and then we go to pick them up the night we go to pick them. We saw them every night they were in the nicu. Never missed a night. The night we go to pick them up, my tire blows out on the car.
Dave: I know. Yeah, we have,
Reese: it's always,
Dave: you dealt with a lot of stuff.
Reese: Actually, lemme think about that question.
Really.
I don't, I cannot think of anything 'cause so many scary things happened.
Dave: Okay, so let me flip this question a little bit. Okay. Because here's how I'm kind of thinking about it in terms of like, okay, if we were to answer this now it's like, it's actually what part of a relationship [00:35:00] scares us.
Most in the current version of us almost. Right, right. Like and I feel like for me, I just wrote like kind of the stuff we started talking about earlier with like the doctor stuff, right? Mm. It's really, now it's really all about
Reese: one of us could die.
Dave: I'm well, one of us is gonna die. Both of us are gonna die.
Reese: I'm saying I hope we at the same time, 'cause I can't, can't,
Dave: well, me too, actually. Let's take a moment. I can't to step stop there, but the scariest thing right now is future health.
Reese: I know.
Dave: I don't I'm hoping we get, 'cause we've been look really good in terms of health for the most part, right?
Like that. Yeah, I'm with you. I hope we wake up dead, man.
Reese: That's what I'm saying. Boom. Gone. Both at the same, you know. That's happened.
Dave: Yeah.
Reese: That's happened. Yeah. So, you know, put it out in the universe so that we go, poof. And then the girls don't have to deal with one R right after another.
Dave: Yeah.
Reese: Boom. At the same time, you know,
Dave: whatever.
Reese: But, and these bitches will throw like the best party,
Dave: but I,
Reese: they're gonna make it [00:36:00] amazing.
Dave: I actually hope. 'cause I think we've been pretty good with this. Like, we, what was it like change is inevitable. I think death is inevitable. Right? Like all these things that like, we're so scared and don't want to talk about.
Like, I want to talk about those things. Yeah. So when they happen, like, yeah, there's sad moments you're gonna miss people.
Reese: Yeah.
Dave: But at the end of the day, like, it's gonna happen. So fucking don't ruin your life about it. Accept that it's gonna happen and prepare,
Reese: accept ex. And you're not gonna know.
Dave: Yeah.
Reese: You're gone.
Dave: Yeah.
Reese: And the thing is, is that I always said I don't want a sad sack event. I want play all my favorite songs. Go have a party, get drunk. I hope someone pus. Tell some funny stories about me. Put up the worst pictures that I've ever taken. Don't ever put one pretty one. And then all the other ones are like,
Dave: that's gonna be Ha.
Hard to narrow that down
Reese: there. I know there's so many. All right. Let's, let's do the other, or did, is [00:37:00] there anything you wanted to answer for the first one?
Dave: I did. I just,
Reese: all right, so let's do the second one. I'm moving us along. It's a new thing. I'm trying
Dave: Oh yeah. You're, you're real good at it. Yeah.
Smooth transitions.
Reese: 30, 37 minutes.
Dave: Alright. When TikTok, when are we the worst versions of ourselves with each other and what do we do about it?
Reese: Yeah, we're probably gonna both say the, like the same thing, but I wanna give a little preface with sometimes when things are going on with ourselves.
Dave: Yeah.
Reese: We both have a tendency to overreact about something very small.
Dave: Mm-hmm.
Reese: So if there's something, like if I'm stressed out about something and I don't talk about it, or something's going on, or I'm, I'm upset about whatever, and I don't talk about it and I push it down, I will get [00:38:00] agitated or mad at something.
Dave: Mm-hmm.
Reese: With you.
Dave: Mm-hmm.
Reese: And it's, it's never what the thing is that I was
Dave: Well it's never the things What, so it's funny. So we can talk about this and we
Reese: both do it.
Dave: I, I ki Yeah, we both do. And I think what's the worst version of ourselves is when we let our tempers get the best of us. Because
we both,
Reese: we both very bad tempers
Dave: have very volatile tempers.
Which is interesting 'cause you wouldn't necessarily think of, think it if you didn't like know us intimately
Reese: and then for two different reasons why we're like that. Yes. We had two different
Dave: completely
Reese: upbringings.
Dave: Completely but. I think what's interesting is that we,
Reese: but we know it exists.
Dave: Well, we know that of each other
Reese: and we've both done crazy shit.
And I think we both know that there is a line that we don't cross with each other and we have to learn to decompress ourselves.
Dave: Right. It's
Reese: [00:39:00] before it goes further. I think we've learned to be like, Ooh, I feel this way. I'm, I think we've gotten better with it. D not diagnosing it, but.
Dave: Noticing it.
Noticing it,
Reese: recognizing
Dave: it. Yeah. And, and getting ourselves to calm down on the situation. But I was gonna say, let's see, I had it and then I lost it again. God damn. Getting old.
Reese: Sorry. I know. I hate it.
Dave: So, oh, uh, it had something to do with I'm gonna do, do, do, do. You can get it. I'll cut this out. You can get it.
I believe in you. Just gimme a minute. It, it was with the temper and then This is ridiculous.
Reese: I know. I hate it. No, you shouldn't.
Dave: This because I lost it and I was meandering a little bit. And then you started to talk. I know. And then I got it, and then I lost it.
Reese: But it was Right. But I told you that was my conversation with Miranda yesterday.
We were like, bam, bam, bam. With 20 different topics. And then we'd be like, okay. Having this conversation. And then, and then she would be like, oh yeah. And then say something. And she's like, I'm sorry, you go. And I'm like. What the hell [00:40:00] was I even
Dave: go to hell?
Reese: What was I even talking about? Yeah. But she just said something that was connected to what I was saying, but I still couldn't remember what I was talking about.
Dave: Yeah,
Reese: I hate that.
It also freaks me out because I'm like, it's me, it's my brain. I'm old, something's happening. My, um, I'm my, but it's also, it's like we have, I think part of it is that we just always have something going on and that also, and social media and being on the phone, it's chipping away at the muscle memory that we used to have.
Quick example. I told the class today or the workshop. I don't know your phone number.
I don't know Jonnie or Emily's phone number. Mm-hmm. I don't know Miranda's phone number. I don't know. Ruthann's phone number. These are people that I call. Yeah, my cousin Sherry.
Dave: Yeah.
Reese: I don't know. I, I don't know anybody's phone number.
Dave: I know your phone number.
Reese: Yeah. 'cause I've had it for [00:41:00] so long.
Dave: Yeah, but you should know my phone number.
Reese: But you, but you also would have to dial my phone number in with one of the early phones that we had before. It was like on, you'd be like, boop.
Be do boo do boo do like on the chocolate phone, remember the, the,
Dave: yeah. But that was still, you still had memory dial.
Reese: But I'm saying yes, but also like, sometimes you just boop, boop boop. You just, you would call me from work, you know what I mean? Like,
Dave: I guess, so
Reese: you had to dial the number at some point.
So you have muscle memory, your number and the girl's number. That was immediate. 'cause you didn't have a phone until like, later on. So it's like, there's muscle memory. Ugh. Anyway, I'm, don't get me started on this again. 'cause it's making me,
Dave: I don't even know where you're going, so
Reese: I don't know where I'm going.
Sometimes I'm like Michael Scott, sometimes I'll start a story and this, and I'm just hoping I'll find it.
Dave: This is what happens when you're
Reese: on the way
Dave: midlife aged. Yeah. Like we are
Reese: Yeah. And having this drink.
Dave: So I can't remember what the hell I was gonna say, but it was something about this idea. But
Reese: I know, but
Dave: [00:42:00] basically it'll, it'll come worst when we, when our, we will let our tempers get the best of us.
Reese: Yes.
Dave: And it's oftentimes because there's a mismatch match of energies.
Reese: Mm.
Dave: And and we're not we're definitely in those different places.
Reese: Yeah.
Dave: Right. Where you are in this place. Mm. And like, I'm overtired and then like we can't handle each other's energy at that particular moment. Right? Yeah. And that's what usually,
Reese: and most of the time we're on the same.
Dave: Yeah.
Reese: Page.
Dave: Yeah. Yeah. But sometimes it's just not the,
Reese: which is so funny.
Dave: It's not the right time for the thing to be happening.
Reese: It's always this, it's always this. Don't be mad.
Dave: No.
Reese: This is how it goes in my brain. I love Dave. I love Dave. Aww. I love Dave. We're good. We're good. We're gonna make it as good. What the fuck this fucking guy?
Mm-hmm. And I get, so I'm like, that's it, it's done. I need a break. I can't handle it. Aww. Mm-hmm. [00:43:00] I love Dave. Mm-hmm. He's so good.
Dave: Yeah.
Reese: We had a little fight the other night.
Dave: Well, so this is what I was gonna give you,
Reese: and I think it was like, energy.
Dave: Let's go. It was,
Reese: was, it was.
Dave: Well, so the third, right. What do we actually, uh, what do we actually do when communication breaks down and not what we say we do?
And I was gonna say, what we actually do is, I mean, we fight.
Reese: Yep.
Dave: One.
Reese: Yep.
Dave: We're mad.
Reese: Yep.
Dave: And this is what happened the other night. We got into an argument about I don't, so here's what's funny. I wrote down,
Reese: it doesn't matter.
Dave: We, we don't need to talk about it. No, we don't need to talk about it. But we take a break and we calm down.
Reese: Yeah.
Dave: And then oftentimes that involves even forgetting why we were fighting.
Reese: And then we make dark humor jokes.
Dave: We make dark humor jokes, and then we apologize.
Reese: Yeah.
Dave: And so I have to say, you got me good though. So I, so, so we got into this fight the other night. And again, honestly, it doesn't matter what it was for, but we were like,
Reese: pat myself on the back because that was really good.
No. And then, and then I was having an issue with [00:44:00] technology. I asked Dave for help. He gave me tude. Then he matched his energy with my energy. And then we were like, and then I was like, forget, I don't need your help. And you're like, fuck you. And then we were done for the night and we go to bed and I was like, fuck this.
Dave: Yeah. So we went to bed,
Reese: and then the next morning, Dave can always wake up. And be refreshed and act like nothing has happened. Not like nothing has happened. I know. But be
kinder than I would be. I shut down. Yeah. I'm like, Nope, I'm still mad. And you'll be like, no, I'm good. I'm gonna move on. Yeah. I'm like, absolutely not. So the whole day you sent me reels a, a text message. Message and a thing.
Dave: Yeah. I had to go to, I had to go to work that day. So I actually went into the office and so I wasn't here.
We weren't in the same space. And so I had to leave early and yeah. So I get to work and I was doing the usual, Hey, um, I made it to the office.
Reese: Nothing.
Dave: Hope you have a great [00:45:00] day. Yeah.
Reese: Nothing.
Dave: I don't hear from you all day.
Reese: I was like, no, I'm not answering.
Dave: Yeah.
Reese: Any of that.
Dave: Yeah. Mad
Reese: 'cause I was still mad and stewing,
Dave: stewing, stewing.
That's the, that's the word. You were stewing.
Reese: I was stewing. And. So I ha I spent the day with Jonnie Uhhuh. I spent the day with my daughter,
Dave: which is good.
Reese: Which was lovely. And at one point I had said to her something we were, we were talking, she heard the door slam. And I was like, yeah, that was me. She heard like a I, and here's the thing that I appreciate about us a lot
Dave: mm-hmm.
Reese: Is that they have heard us fight.
Dave: Yeah.
Reese: They know that we fight.
Dave: Yeah.
Reese: But they also see us come back together, but they know we
Dave: Yeah. But also see us. Right. Like Right. And so like, yeah. I'm not a big believer in
Reese: and saw my parents fight once,
Dave: so I'm not a big believer in just general,
Reese: don't hide the shit.
Dave: Here's my parenting tip. Like, don't try to isolate kids from stuff. 'cause they have to learn how to deal with this stuff. And I think are being open [00:46:00] about what life is.
Reese: Yeah.
Dave: And the fact that yeah, we fight. Yeah. But we also talk to them about like, yeah, people fight and you gotta figure out if you love that person, you figure out how to make it work.
And then you, you, you know when to do that stuff. And I think that's the key because so many people try to keep people from things
Reese: Right.
Dave: And hide things from people. Right. And your family was huge with this.
Reese: Oh my God.
Dave: That's so, you don't have any skills how to deal with something.
Reese: That is a big thing that I, when I, I said if I ever have kids, I wanna be transparent.
I wanna be I wanna have a relationship where we can talk.
Dave: Yeah. Yeah.
Reese: And I don't wanna have to hide things because my parents did that all the time. And listen, I get it. I'm, I, I'm, I'm very empathetic. I'm very my emotions are everywhere and I feel them all at once. And I, I could be very intense in the way that I process stuff.
And so my parents could not handle that. [00:47:00] It, and also they were like that. So that's where I get it from my relationship now with the girls. I had a Emily Day. I had a Jonnie Day. Yeah.
Dave: I love it.
Reese: Emily Day, we were like B BB. Like we, we, I can't even, the conversation goes. It's all over the place. Yeah. It's amazing.
I love it. And but then we talk very honestly with each other, with respect. Yes. I know. There's stuff that they don't divulge, of course. And vice versa. It's exactly, there's a respect level of whatever.
Dave: You have your own. But I, it's not that like we're a,
Reese: I talk about
Dave: have no privacy or I know. Or boundaries,
Reese: but I talk about our relationship with them.
So I'm with Jonnie and I'm like, yay, father. And I had a fight and I was like, I did slam the door. But as I was walking past, I realized all of you were home and Liam is there and I was like mumbling to myself, mad into the kitchen, shoving crackers in my mouth because I was like, stress eating [00:48:00] crackers.
'cause I was so mad.
Dave: Yeah.
Reese: And I told her, I was like, I was feeling one way, you were feeling another way. We just clashed. And I was like, I just need to let the day go by and then we'll see what happens. And she's like, mom. You can't leave home. You can't not, you can't go to bed angry. And you can't leave home angry.
You know every story. Yeah. Someone dies. Yeah. And they left a and I was like, I know. I know. I know. And I think I told you that. And I know
Dave: that's funny. Yeah.
Reese: I don't like to go to bed angry. But sometimes it's like,
Dave: yeah,
Reese: it's not gonna get resolved.
Dave: Listen, sometimes. Yeah. It's, and you're not ready to resolve it.
No. And so you gotta go to bed angry.
Reese: But I know at what you're at some point and you know, at some point,
Dave: yeah. We'll come back around.
Reese: We're gonna,
Dave: so,
Reese: so I come home. You're still at work? I think I had rehearsal.
Dave: You had rehearsal.
Reese: So Jonnie leaves and goes with her boyfriend.
Dave: She went back to Yeah, back to school.
Reese: Wow. That's done.
Dave: to back I know. Back down. I know. Wow. [00:49:00]
Reese: Yeah, I know. She left to go be left with her boyfriend. I went to rehearsal. I come home from rehearsal. You brought me these beautiful flowers and there was a card.
Dave: Yep.
Reese: So I, I take a picture. I send it to Jonnie and Jonnie goes, oh my fucking God. Oh my O-M-F-G-G.
Dave: Yeah.
Reese: And she's like, what does the card say? And I sent it to her and she's like, I don't get it. 'cause I didn't tell her what we fought about.
Dave: Right. So we fought about, let me tell you. So, and that's something to do with,
Reese: but I explained it the next day.
Dave: Yeah. So,
Reese: and she was like,
Dave: essentially,
Reese: that's really funny.
Dave: It was a technology question that you were having issues with. And I was like, it's actually just a simple fix. Let me show you. And I was trying to show you, and you were not in a mood where you wanted you, you were more pissed that you had to do something than wanting to hear how to solve it.
Reese: Yeah.
Dave: From my perspective.
Reese: And you were trying to
Dave: solve from my perspective. And I was just like,
Reese: I just wanted to vent.
Dave: And I was like, and I was, and it was funny because I was trying to give you like, I'm like. Do [00:50:00] you want to just vent? But I was like, you're spending all this time venting where literally it's literally just two seconds.
You could just do this and so
Reese: well,
Dave: again, we were mismatched you. I don't wanna get into a fight now
Reese: is how I know. This is how you see that. You were, you were just right. Oh, it's not that hard. No, you were like Napoleon Dynamite. Like, oh '
Dave: cause, because you wouldn't stop giving attitude about it. And it was like,
Reese: because I was upset.
It wasn't an attitude.
Dave: I know.
Reese: Anyway, we're fight.
Dave: Right? I know. So
Reese: we don't need to rehash it, but,
Dave: so anyway, the, we have the whole thing was like you had to format a file a certain way, right? The name of the file a certain way. And so,
Reese: and it was like da underscore.
Dave: So in my my, my witty charm, I was like, I'm gonna apologize, but I wrote it in the format with which you had to save the file.
Reese: And how the fuck do I get mad at that? 'cause that is my sense of humor,
Dave: right?
Reese: And he played the player,
Dave: right?
Reese: Like the bitch he is.
Dave: And I was, and I was like, I put him down on the counter and I went to bed like, I'm funny.
Reese: But then,
Dave: and [00:51:00] then
Reese: I got you. Good bitch.
Dave: So I know when you come home. Because,
Reese: oh,
Dave: because like I get like a thing, like the garage is open,
Reese: we all follow each other and the Ring goes off.
Dave: Right. And the, the, the, the, I get a garage, I get a bonus garage door opener thing.
Reese: Oh, look at you.
Dave: And so I'm like, oh, she's home. So I'm laying in bed and then like, I can kind of, you know, you faintly hear you like slapping around. I'm like, okay, wait for it.
Reese: Slapping around.
Dave: Slapping around.
Reese: It's true. I'm very loud though.
Dave: Crunch it on something.
Reese: Yep, yep. Yeah. Yeah.
Dave: And I'm like, I'm like, wait for it. Wait for it. And then the text comes through and it's the, it's the picture of, I think it was the flowers, right? Yeah. And it wasn't the card?
Reese: No. I opened the card and I took a picture with the it all together.
Dave: Yeah. And then you were like what would you, what would you say? You were like, why is everything so fucking funny
Reese: to you? No, no. I said,
Dave: or why is everything a joke to you? Or something like that?
Reese: I said, what is everything? A fucking joke to you?
Dave: Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, I was like, oh,
Reese: And no LOL. No emojis, [00:52:00] nothing.
Dave: And I was like.
Reese: Now, this is after. I laughed at that for like five minutes. I was like, yo, that's funny.
Dave: I was like, and I'm like, 'cause already I'm like, I mean, we've been down this path before. And I'm like, no, that was, and I'm like sitting there in the bed going, no, that was pretty fucking funny. I'm like, really?
She's mad at this? And I'm like, I don't know.
Reese: I'm amazing.
Dave: I don't know how to respond. And I was like, I was like, all right, do I get up?
Reese: You can't mess with me.
Dave: I was, I was just at the point where I was like, all right, I gotta get up and go out there and be like, Hey,
Reese: so I write this. Yeah. And I'm like, you're so funny.
You're so funny. Like, you're really good. He's gonna think it's funny. I go to do something else and as I'm doing it, all of a sudden I went, he might not know. I was joking. Yeah. And that's not good. So I was like, shit. All right. It might have been like a minute
Dave: it,
Reese: but that's a long time.
Dave: It felt like an eternity.
Reese: Yeah, I know. It's like a long [00:53:00] time. So I go back to my phone and I was like, jk, whoop.
Dave: Yeah. And then you were like, I love them. They're beautiful.
Reese: Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, you right.
Dave: I was like, okay. And woo. I was like, okay. I'm like, I didn't completely lose it. 'cause I was like, was fucking funny.
Reese: It was so validating.
Dave: Was so funny.
Reese: It was so validating when I went into the room and Yeah. And you said that?
Dave: Yeah.
Reese: You weren't sure if that was
Dave: Yeah. I was like, oh my God. It was validating because I was like, that's funny.
Reese: Both of us.
Dave: I was very proud of myself.
Reese: Both of us. Both of us though. Yeah. I got you. I got you. It was tit for tat,
Dave: I was worried for time. Oh,
Reese: it was good. All right.
Dave: All right.
Reese: Next one.
Dave: Oh, all right. Well, so surprise, surprise, question. You don't know what this is gonna be.
Reese: Surprise.
Dave: All right, so I'm probably, this is probably bad for asking this question. Oh. Because I feel like this is gonna be like all the time. When do you feel like I'm not really listening
Reese: all the time.
Dave: Even when I think I am.
Reese: All the time.
Dave: All the time. Yeah.
Reese: So that fight also stemmed [00:54:00] from me being angry. Oh, we're gonna, I'm gonna bring it back. Full circle. Ready? You ready?
Dave: I'm ready. Yeah.
Reese: My specialty.
Dave: Oh, let's see.
Reese: I was harboring and like stewing from a conversation we had
Dave: from a, something I don't know about Yeah.
Reese: Like a night or two before that where I was telling you about my presentation that I was giving today.
Dave: Oh yeah.
Reese: I was like, can I run this by you? And you were like this. Yeah, go ahead.
Dave: Yeah. Yep.
Reese: And I'm like, bam.
Dave: For those of you not watching, she's looking at her phone
Reese: bam, bam, bam, bam. Like, I'm, I'm going through the whole thing.
Yep. And it was still like in the. This is the idea I have. I was like, it wasn't, and I needed feedback on like structure. Mm-hmm. And like, and do you understand what I'm talking about?
Dave: Yeah.
Reese: So all of this, I was like, how was it?
Dave: Yeah. [00:55:00]
Reese: And you were like, it was good. And you had this meh attitude.
Dave: Well, so, so
Reese: and so. Wait.
Dave: I know. I know.
Reese: And so I was like, give me feedback. Yeah. Give me feedback. You are not gonna hurt my feelings.
Dave: No, I know.
Reese: I need to know. Does this make sense? So you're like okay, I need to know what are you trying to get people to walk away with? And I'm like, what do you mean? And you're like, well, what is the point of this?
Yeah. And I'm like I said that at the end. The last thing that I said to you before, I said, what do you think was I wanted people to like, we're gonna have like a quick, like we do all these exercises. Mm-hmm. Whatever. Then I ask everybody, like, okay, tell me how you will use this analog thinking in work or home.
Yeah. Or teaching and gimme some examples of some things that we did. Mm-hmm. And uh, are you a, can you use the [00:56:00] tools that I just gave you? And so you go, you didn't say that. And I was like, no, I absolutely said this and this. You're like, no, you didn't say that. And I'm like, I said that.
And I was like, okay. And then I said what I said, and you were like, oh wait, maybe you did. So I. That bothered me because I felt like,
Dave: yeah.
Reese: What I've been trying to do for the last, like, yeah, I don't know, month is when someone is talking to me, I take my phone and I put it down. Yeah. And I just,
Dave: yep.
Reese: Listen, I do it with the girls.
Yep. I've done it with you.
Dave: Yep. No I, I got you.
Reese: But you had your phone out. Yeah. And you were just b boop boop, boop boop through the phone. And I'm like,
Dave: so
Reese: you are not really listening.
Dave: I, yeah. No, you're right.
Reese: And I suppressed it and I didn't bring it up.
Dave: And I'll give you, I'll give you, you're absolutely right.
And that was a, and that was a a timing issue, like, I wasn't [00:57:00] ready for what you were ready to give and I wasn't ready to receive. And also,
Reese: but you're really good at telling me like, gimme a second.
Dave: Yeah. Well, sometimes it Right.
Reese: And I, and I'm always like, I will acquiesce because I, I. I know sometimes you're doing work. Yeah. And I get, I'm like a chihuahua. I'm like, like I wanna tell you.
Dave: Yeah.
Reese: And you're really good. Yeah. At telling me like,
Dave: so I apologize for that.
Reese: Gimme a second.
Dave: I apologize for that too, because you're right, I,
Reese: it's my fault. I should have said something,
Dave: but I also felt like something I almost I sometimes too, I feel like, and I think again, this is my fault because I was jumping to conclusions in my head too. Like one, I wasn't in the place for that at that particular moment in time.
And also two, I was like, I don't know if you are ready for feedback yet. Meaning, meaning
Reese: I wouldn't ask for it.
Dave: No, no, no, no.
Reese: If I wasn't,
Dave: I meant like needed. I meant like, I feel like you may have had and again, this [00:58:00] is me talking to myself and so me again adding narrative to it that isn't there. But I was like, you may have been ready, but I was thinking you weren't ready yet,
Reese: but just ask me.
Dave: You know what I'm saying? Yeah.
Reese: Because I will tell you honestly, like no, just let me just,
Dave: yeah.
Reese: Say stuff and then maybe tomorrow, yeah, think about it and then tomorrow gimme your analysis of whatever. Yeah. And I think that is the thing that you and I have gotten good at, and we're still working on the process of registering like where we are.
Sometimes I feel like you match my energy and I need you to not do that.
Dave: But sometimes it's hard not to do. This is where, this is where our, we are. We both are good at. Or bad at, depending on how you look at it.
Reese: No. Good.
Dave: But we match. There's nothing bad. We both match energies,
Reese: but we're recognizing it.
[00:59:00] Yes. It's bad if we don't,
Dave: if we don't and we just let it be the thing.
Reese: But it is what it is when we, and so we know. Okay.
Dave: Yeah. So sometimes we can navigate it and sometimes we can't because of we're in a, a more raw state, I think. Right. End of the day. Tired.
Reese: But look where we are right now so that we work it out.
Dave: You look!
Reese: No, you ah!
Dave: alright. What's your question?
Reese: Okay. Okay. You okay?
Dave: Alright, good.
Reese: I'm gonna, I'm gonna say it and then I'm gonna give you an example.
Dave: Oh, okay.
Reese: What is one thing that I don't do or want to do that you wish I did get? No, don't go where your brain is going. An example,
Dave: it's not sexual.
Reese: Yes.
Dave: That's not where I was going.
Reese: Yep. No, not at all. 'cause you just said it. Example. Play video games with you or something like that?
Dave: Oh.
Reese: Or like a game that I don't to play.
Dave: You want something? You want something like stupid like that? Or
Reese: anything? Anything.
Dave: Or something like
Reese: something silly.
Dave: Meaningful
Reese: or something [01:00:00] meaningful. Whatever you feel the first thing that pops into you.
Dave: Well,
Reese: we don't have to get deep.
Dave: No, we won't get deep and we don't have to.
Reese: And it could be silly
Dave: too. Deli. Uh, yeah. But I would just bring it up because it was fresh in my mind. I wish you budgeted more with money. Were more pointed with money.
Again, this is not anything that, like, I know these are the, the, the, the opposite pieces that we have with each other. But I wish sometimes that you were just a little bit more you're like, I don't know what's gonna happen and so I need money and so I don't want to have any money. Other versus, all right, I know I need to do these things, so I'm gonna budget it.
Reese: Yes.
Dave: And then this is what I have.
Reese: So my budgeting is I know that I have to keep $250. Aside for the bank.
Dave: Yeah.
Reese: I don't wanna hear the whatever. I don't like it. No one likes it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Then whatever. I contribute to whatever you wanna take out. But there are things in my life, yolo. I'm 52. I wanna [01:01:00] do what I wanna do.
Yeah. Within a, and I'm, I think I'm pretty, pretty good. I'm not like abundant. I think I'm like, oh, I have an abundance of welcome. I'm just gonna do whatever.
Dave: Neither of us are are crazy.
Reese: But when I go out with my friends, I have stuff going on like, like my paycheck right now, like being a teacher. When you're an adjunct, you get what you get and you don't get upset. Mm-hmm. Some semesters I get five classes, some I get two, some I get three. Some I get 10.
I don't know when it's gonna happen. Um, everything is sporadic and then all of a sudden, sometimes all these opportunities come at me and like, sometimes I don't wanna do them. But like sometimes I, I wanna do them and I wanna have money to do them. I wanna buy the shoes, I wanna buy the experience. I wanna go out with the girls and pay for them.
'cause right now they're paying a lot on their own, which I never did at their age. Like my parents were still [01:02:00] paying for like a lot of stuff. They pay, they work and they pay on their own. And I love that so much.
Dave: Yeah. That's what we want them to do.
Reese: And they do that for me. They pay for me. Like, they'll like, oh, well, you know, whatever.
But.
I sometimes try to be honest with you and say like, Hey, this semester or up until this time, let me just have this funny money and let me do what I need to do and have a good time and take care of other budgetary things. Uh, you know, I take a trillion vitamins since we don't have a doctor and I can't take care of myself.
So I, I have to make sure like vitamins and my skincare, like the things that I do to take care of myself.
I'm not doing plastic surgery,
Dave: I'm not
Reese: getting whatever
Dave: you can do what you want,
Reese: the things I buy, but at the per month, I need to like do what I need to do. And sometimes it [01:03:00] changes and I can't give you what you want as far as consistent consistency, like that you are Type A I'm type B.
Dave: I know, I know.
Reese: And the fact that we even work at all. Yeah,
mind, mind blowing.
Dave: So that's, that's, I'm not, again, I I'm not trying to get into thing about it.
Reese: I get what you get, but I'm just saying, I get you being frustrated because I understand the way that you are. But I just come meet me a little bit halfway and just be like I like when Reese is happy and she's doing, I listen, but I'm, but I, alsot can say like, I don't need certain things.
Dave: No, I don't want you to say you don't need anything. All I want you to say is,
Reese: yeah,
Dave: I've, no,
Reese: there's some things I don't need.
Dave: Whatever. It's fine. Look, we both have our things.
Reese: It's excessive.
Dave: Again, I'm not mad at that. Yeah. And I'm not, I'm not even mad at anything in this. Yeah. But I'm just saying like, if there was anything I wish that, so that I know you could say, and
Reese: you wanna know what I'll give you.
I can be better.
Dave: We both, I
Reese: can be
Dave: better. We both do this. It's not a just, I'm,
Reese: I can be [01:04:00] better. I will put it to the fact that I'm a theater major and I'm dumb at math. Good enough. No, Don. Okay, great. Also, I love you. I I love you too. Okay. Uh, ready for my question? No, we did it.
We're done. Oh my God. We're done. Yeah.
Dave: Ask it again.
Reese: Let's, I have to go to bed. It's, listen. 9 0 4.
Dave: Yes.
Reese: I'm exhausted.
Dave: It is time. You've had a long day.
Reese: I did.
Dave: And it's been a long week. Every week is a long weekend. I'm getting, so here's what I'm gonna say. I'm gonna wait for the camera to come back to me. I'm just gonna do this.
Listen, friends, life is a group project.
Reese: Someone likes attention.
Dave: Be kind to each other.
Reese: I love you though.
Outro Music: We got the right stuff, we put the hammer right down.
We got the right stuff we put the hammer right down.
